Chicago - Jul. 12, 2022
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
Beachwood Politics
Our monthly archive.
Who We Are
Chicago by the numbers.
Sausage Links
Wiki Daley
Wiki Rahm
Illinois Channel
Ralph Martire
Government Attic
Division Street
Indie Political Report
The Obameter
The Intercept
American Dream Betrayed

Rahm: Too Big To Fail

You wanna play ball, put a check in the mail.



I got a call last spring from Good King Rich
He said the time had come for him to make a switch
He said, "Rahm, you've always been my boy"
I said, "Rich, you've always been my goy"
Then he started talkin' about his plan
To slip on out and make me The Man
He said, "Here's the teflon; you're gonna be a great Don -
Do the dance like my very own Black Swan"
Then I said, "I will prevail -
I got Hollywood cash; I'm too big to fail"

Then I let it be known that I was back in Chi-Town
Measuring drapes and getting ready to throw down
And just like that the field cleared
The wannabes all disappeared
I got rock star money; I can buy my own island
My family wants Thai food, I take 'em to Thailand
Stay off of my court; I'm playing a blood sport
Whaddup, Winnetka? Bye-bye Bridgeport
No need to vote; I will prevail
I got Hollywood cash; I'm too big to fail

Then I hit the streets with my top adviser
The guy in charge of my hand sanitizer
I smile and wish all the people well
Shake some hands and then get my Purell
They say I'm out of touch with the working man
With my thousand dollar suits and my year-round tan
I say spare me the rap about that neighborhood crap
Garfield Park is just a place on a map
You wanna play ball, put a check in the mail
I got Hollywood cash; I'm too big to fail

Public schools, hah, I don't need 'em
Parking meters, lord, I don't feed 'em
My big-money crew is gonna rock the downtown
And throw a few bones to the black and the brown
Kiss up to all the right preachers
Send dead fish to the union teachers
Bringin' it non-stop; rockin' the hip-hop
Did I mention that my uncle was a city cop?
Mess with me and you touch the third rail
With my Hollywood cash; I'm too big to fail


Previously by The Blue State Cowboys:
* Good King Rich b/w Pay To Play (But Keep Love In Your Heart) and Crawl Back To Crawford


Also by Blue State Cowboy Matt Farmer:
* I Tried To Break Into George Blanda's Car


Comments welcome.


Posted on February 3, 2011

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter

Beachwood Radio!