For entertainment purposes only. And office pools. Updated as events warrant.
The chance that . . .
Forrest Claypool is the police chief one year from now: 50%. Eddie Johnson is same ol', same ol'. Won't do.
Forrest Claypool is the mayor two years from now: 50%. Rahm just might decide to install a successor early and spend more time with his investment banking family.
Forrest Claypool runs for mayor in 2019: 10%. Only if he's the incumbent.
Rahm runs for re-election in 2019: 40 percent. Down 10 ticks. No way he enjoys this job.
Toni Preckwinkle runs for mayor in 2019: 1 percent. She had her chance; now she's setting up her heirs.
Karen Lewis runs for mayor in 2019: 1 percent. She didn't want to run this time.
Chuy Garcia runs for mayor in 2019: 1 percent. He didn't want to run this time.
Willie Wilson runs for mayor in 2019: 1 percent. Won't he still be president?
Bob Fioretti runs for mayor in 2019: 1 percent. Only if Willie Wilson bankrolls him.
Dock Walls runs for mayor in 2019: 100 percent. He's Dock Walls.
Kurt Summers runs for mayor in 2019: 75 percent. He's already started, hasn't he?
Kim Foxx runs for mayor in 2019: 35 percent. Depends on performance, Preckwinkle.
Bridget Gainer runs for mayor in 2019: 25 percent. Apparently considering it.
Tom Dart runs for mayor in 2019: 50 percent. Recently rumored; could be formidable.
Lisa Madigan runs for mayor in 2019: 10 percent. That's the rumor, but is that the job she really wants? We think no.
Pat Quinn runs for mayor in 2019: 5 percent. He's gonna run for something again - just watch.
Richard Boykin runs for mayor in 2019: 10 percent. He's running for something. Every day.
John Fritchey runs for mayor in 2019: 5 percent. Too many people don't like him.
John Daley runs for mayor in 2019: 10 percent. Someone has to restore the dynasty - and it's not gonna be Bill.
Patrick Daley Thompson runs for mayor in 2019: 20 percent. Someone has to restore the dynasty - and it's not gonna be Bill.
Vice Mayor Brendan Reilly runs for mayor in 2019: 10 percent. Would that be a re-election bid after Rahm steps down?
Susana Mendoza runs for mayor in 2019: 10 percent. And abandon her dream job as state comptroller?
Andrea Zopp runs for mayor in 2019: 5 percent. Frankly hard to imagine her running for anything again, but she laid at least minimal groundwork.
Kwame Raoul runs for mayor in 2019: 18 percent. He could win, but is he eyeing the governor's mansion?
Arne Duncan runs for mayor in 2019: 35 percent. A run for governor more likely.
Dorothy Brown completes her term: 10 percent. Likely to move on to federal court.
Bruce Rauner turns around Illinois: 0 percent. Would have to turn around Michael Madigan first.
Lisa Madigan runs for governor in 2018: 0 percent. Would have to turn around Michael Madigan first.
Bruce Rauner runs for re-election in 2018: 50 percent. Bored rich guys always hard to figure; better question: Will he have passed a budget by then?
Pat Quinn runs for governor in 2018: 30 percent. Please don't.
Bill Daley runs for governor in 2018: 0 percent. But that won't stop Sneed from spreading the rumor.
DOJ places CPD under a consent decree: 90 percent. Unless Rahm pulls enough strings.
Michael Madigan is the worse for wear: 1 percent. Nobody likes him, but now everybody needs him.
Joe Berrios is indicted: 50 percent. Seems like just a matter of time, yet there he is, still a free man.
Obama Library goes to Washington Park: 50 percent. Seems like this was decided a long time ago.
Obama Library goes to Jackson Park: 50 percent. Washington Park a diversion; Jackson Park more ready-made.
The Star Wars museum gets built: 25 percent. Down another 25 ticks as project seems to stall out.
The Star Wars museum gets built on time: 1 percent. Only if a rogue contractor finds the one weakness in the Chicago Death Star.
The Infrastructure Trust lasts another year: 75 percent. Just out of spite.
The local media continues to ignore Homan Square: 100 percent. The psychology is just bizarre.
Barack and Michelle return to Chicago: 0 percent. They may visit if one of their kids somehow, some way, gets into the University of Chicago, though.
Barack Obama is impeached: 1 percent. As a war criminal presiding over an out-of-control security state, he certainly deserves it; we don't live in that kind of country yet, though.
Over/Under on how long DOJ is here: 15 months.
Over/Under on the number of aldermen who will be indicted before the next election: 3.5.
Over/Under on how many months Forrest Claypool serves as CPS CEO: 12. But where to next - Streets and San?
Next alderman likely to be indicted, three-way parlay, choose from the following, in descending probability: Jason Ervin, Patrick O'Connor, Anthony Beale, George Cardenas, Danny Solis, Walter Burnett, Carrie Austin, Howard Brookins, Emma Mitts.
Daley brother most likely to be indicted in descending probability, parlays available: John, Michael, Richard, Bill.
Daley relative most likely to be indicted in descending probability: Patrick Daley, Patrick Daley Thompson.
Emanuel brother most likely to be indicted in descending probability: Ari, Rahm, Ezekiel.
Next city/county officeholder likely to be indicted in descending probability: Dorothy Brown, Karen Yarbrough, Joe Berrios, Stanley Moore, Maria Pappas.
Year Illinois has a budget in descending probability: 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016.
Posted on March 29, 2016
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