Feeling McCain's Pain

Cindy: Let's order takeout, I'm starving.
John: I know a lot about starvation. I lived on a bowl of rice a day for five-and-a-half years.

*

Cindy: C'mon, John, you've hogged the remote all night.
John: You'd hog the remote, too, if you had to live without one for five-and-a-half years.

*

Cindy: John, how many times do I have to ask you to put the lid down?
John: If you had to use a hole in the ground for a toilet for five and a half years, you'd understand

*

Cindy: Not tonight John, I have a headache.
John: I had a headache for five-and-a-half years, now lay down and shut up!

*

Cindy: Rafael, have Vincent copter you to the penthouse condo to let John know he forgot to tell Julio to separate the plastic and glass recycling . . . again!
John: Rafael, tell Cindy that the only thing I gave a shit about separating after five-and-a-half years of being a POW was my disfigured first wife.

*

Cindy: Did you really just call me the C-word?
John: Listen, toots, the only C-word around here is five-and-a-half years of Captivity.

*

Cindy: Happy Anniversary honey, can you believe it's been 28 years?
John: Wow, 28 years? It's only felt like five-and-a-half.

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See also:
* McCain vs. McRib
* McCain for McPresident

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