McCain for McPresident

A Beachwood investigation has learned that the following slogans and talking points are under consideration for the remainder of John McCain's presidential campaign.

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1. One-term president, two-term Wal-Mart greeter.

2. McCain: Now with less POW angst.

3. War, not platitudes.

4. McCain for McPresident. McNow.

5. 99 billion creepy smiles served.

6. I did not have Senatorial relations with my girlfriend.

7. If the Straight Talk Express is rockin', don't come knockin'.

8. Added bonus: Mrs. McCain 200% more MILF-y

9. No, we McCan't.

10. I still believe in a place called the Panama Canal Zone.

11. I'm only a McRepublican, not a real one.

12. Under my administration, lobbying will become a dirty word.

13. Who are you gonna believe, the New York Times or your lyin' eyes?

14. The other guy is black!

15. Give McWar a chance.

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- Eric Emery, Tim Willette, Steve Rhodes