LiLo vs. Blago

Compare and contrast.

LiLo: Cried first night in prison.
Blago: Will cry every night in prison.

Lilo: Got to keep her extensions.
Blago: Will get to keep his extensions.

LiLo: Cornered by the Sisters in the laundry.
Blago: Will be cornered by the Sisters in the laundry.

LiLo: Dated Sam Ronson.
Blago: Hired Sam Adams.

LiLo: Had a talking car.
Blago: Talked too much.

LiLo: Gets paid $400,000 to take her clothes off.
Blago: Spends $400,000 to put clothes on.

LiLo: Did her nails just for court.
Blago: Will do nails for parole hearing.

LiLo: Redhead.
Blago: Bedhead.

LiLo: Can't believe how unfair the world is.
Blago: Can't believe how unfair the world is.

LiLo: Refuses to speak to her father.
Blago: Refuses to speak to his father-in-law.

LiLo: Known to be a psychologically unstable drug user.
Blago: Is just psychologically unstable.

LiLo: Acted in A Prairie Home Companion.
Blago: Alleges a Prairie State conspiracy.

LiLo: Hopes to make it to premiere of Machete.
Blago: Hopes to make a machete out of his toothbrush.

LiLo: Mean Girl.
Blago: Mean Governor.

LiLo: Swings both ways.
Blago: About to swing both ways.

LiLo: Her career is in the toilet.
Blago: Spent most of his career hiding in the toilet.

LiLo: Had a career that was fucking golden.
Blago: Had a Senate seat that was fucking golden.

- Andrew Reilly, Drew Adamek, Steve Rhodes

Comments welcome.

© 2006 - 2021, The Beachwood Media Company