Chicago - Aug. 19, 2017
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
 
Beachwood Politics
Our monthly archive.
Who We Are
Chicago by the numbers.
Sausage Links
Wiki Daley
Wiki Rahm
Illinois Channel
CAN TV
Ralph Martire
Doonesbury
Government Attic
Division Street
Indie Political Report
The Obameter
ProPublica
The Intercept
SCOTUS Blog
American Dream Betrayed

LiLo vs. Blago

Compare and contrast.

LiLo: Cried first night in prison.
Blago: Will cry every night in prison.

Lilo: Got to keep her extensions.
Blago: Will get to keep his extensions.

LiLo: Cornered by the Sisters in the laundry.
Blago: Will be cornered by the Sisters in the laundry.

LiLo: Dated Sam Ronson.
Blago: Hired Sam Adams.

LiLo: Had a talking car.
Blago: Talked too much.

LiLo: Gets paid $400,000 to take her clothes off.
Blago: Spends $400,000 to put clothes on.

LiLo: Did her nails just for court.
Blago: Will do nails for parole hearing.

LiLo: Redhead.
Blago: Bedhead.

LiLo: Can't believe how unfair the world is.
Blago: Can't believe how unfair the world is.

LiLo: Refuses to speak to her father.
Blago: Refuses to speak to his father-in-law.

LiLo: Known to be a psychologically unstable drug user.
Blago: Is just psychologically unstable.

LiLo: Acted in A Prairie Home Companion.
Blago: Alleges a Prairie State conspiracy.

LiLo: Hopes to make it to premiere of Machete.
Blago: Hopes to make a machete out of his toothbrush.

LiLo: Mean Girl.
Blago: Mean Governor.

LiLo: Swings both ways.
Blago: About to swing both ways.

LiLo: Her career is in the toilet.
Blago: Spent most of his career hiding in the toilet.

LiLo: Had a career that was fucking golden.
Blago: Had a Senate seat that was fucking golden.

- Andrew Reilly, Drew Adamek, Steve Rhodes

Comments welcome.



Permalink

Posted on July 29, 2010


MUSIC - The Weekend In Chicago Rock.
TV - Can Anyone Stop Sinclair?
POLITICS - Hundreds Turn Selves In For Toppling Statue.
SPORTS - Bears Psychosis Grips City.

BOOKS - How Subversive Artists Made Thrifting Cool.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Beachwood Photo Booth: Cloudy Gate.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Email:

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter



Beachwood Radio!


Ask Me Anything!