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Who Should Be The Next Chairman Of The Illinois GOP?

"Pat Brady's resignation Tuesday as chairman of the state's Republican Party was a move months in the making, an effort to leave on his own terms rather than being ousted for his support of gay marriage," the Tribune reports.

"Republican leaders, who orchestrated Brady's exit strategy last month at a meeting in Tinley Park, said about a dozen contenders are vying to replace Brady. That number is likely to be winnowed to five or fewer within the next two weeks after a Wednesday conference call of the state central committee members, they said."

The Beachwood Political Affairs Desk has been busy compiling its own list of possible contenders. Let's take a look.

* George Ryan. Not tan, but rested.

* Marc Trestman. Because he's all about making organizations more offensive.

* Derrick Rose. Seems available, nothing better to do.

* Fred Phelps. He'll be free right after Hanneman's funeral.

* The Rev. James Meeks. Also a religious nut who hates gay people, except he's black. Outreach!

* Monty Burns. Experienced businessman and polluter, though not clear where he stands on social issues.

* Michael Madigan. Impressive record turning Democrats into Republicans.

* Bill Daley. Former U.S. Commerce Secretary who pushed through NAFTA and worked for JP Morgan Chase seems like a natural - especially given his fixation with being the chief executive of an Illinois party without having to go through an election.

* The Cubs' Jumbotron. Six thousand square feet of raw revenue.

* Sam Zell. Tax avoidance master who hates the little people. Perfect!

* Billy Corgan. Anti-redistributionist who doesn't believe in global warming. Perfect!

* Tom Ricketts. The poster boy for an incompetent rich kid who got everything he has from his (right-wing nut job) dad. Perfect!

* Rita Crundwell. Financial whiz, budding criminal justice expert and a woman. Outreach!

* Rahm Emanuel. Already the most powerful Republican in the state; why not just make it official?

* The Monopoly Man. See Monty Burns.

* Andrew Mason. Already has chief executive experience alienating both the public and the SEC despite relative youth. Outreach!

* Penny Pritzker. Experience in subprime banking, anti-unionism and screwing the working poor (many of whom are immigrants) makes her a natural fit should her Cabinet nomination fail.

* Juan Rangel. Hispanic wheeler-dealer charter school king. Outreach!

* Joe Walsh. The guitar player, not the ex-congressman. They say he's crazy but he has a good time, which would be new to the job.


Comments welcome.


Posted on May 8, 2013

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