Chicago - Sep. 30, 2020
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
 
Beachwood Politics
Our monthly archive.
Who We Are
Chicago by the numbers.
Sausage Links
Wiki Daley
Wiki Rahm
Illinois Channel
CAN TV
Ralph Martire
Doonesbury
Government Attic
Division Street
Indie Political Report
The Obameter
ProPublica
The Intercept
SCOTUS Blog
American Dream Betrayed

Go Iraq

The Pentagon's closely guarded review of how to improve the situation in Iraq has outlined three basic options: Send in more troops, shrink the force but stay longer, or pull out, according to senior defense officials. Insiders have dubbed the options "Go Big," "Go Long" and "Go Home."

- Washington Post, "Pentagon May Suggest Short-Term Buildup Leading to Iraq Exit"

The Beachwood Study Group has also developed some options.

* Go Chicago: Divide Iraq into 50 wards and install a strongman.

* Go the Distance: Wait for deceased smarter strategists to come out of the cornfields with a solution.

* Go Bears. Not good on the attack, but should be able to contain offensives inside the Green Zone.

* Go Fuck Yourself: Send Dick Cheney to verbally assault.

* Go Your Own Way: Send in Fleetwood Mac. If they can overcome their differences to reunite, imagine what they can do to help settle sectarian differences.

* GO.com: Bring sects together with ugly, conglomerated website.

* The Go Team + OK Go = First Annual Baghdad Rock Festival.

* GoDaddy: First militia to go a month without killing anyone wins free domain name with hosting.

* Go Wild: Baghdad is beset with beer-soaked, bleach-blonde women hell-bent on removing all of their clothing. A team of "videographers" records the events "for posterity."

* Go West, Young Man: Attack Syria instead.

* Go Lightly: Sneak out in the middle of the night, possibly with the help of David Blaine.

* Do Not Pass Go: A national Monopoly turnout to determine property ownership.

* Consider: Perhaps we have a growing problem, not a going problem.

* Gomentum: Send Joe Lieberman on a fact-finding mission - to Kazakhstan.

* Go Under: What we're doing now.

- Scott Gordon, Rick Kaempfer, Steve Rhodes



Permalink

Posted on November 27, 2006


MUSIC - What FBG Duck's Mother Says.
TV - The Comedic LA Dodgers.
POLITICS - Wilmette Man Translated Nazis To Death. Heed His Lessons.
SPORTS - Tweeting Foles.

BOOKS - The Endurance Of The Rubik's Cube.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Charles E. Cheese Boo-tacular.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Email:

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter



Beachwood Radio!