Go Iraq

The Pentagon's closely guarded review of how to improve the situation in Iraq has outlined three basic options: Send in more troops, shrink the force but stay longer, or pull out, according to senior defense officials. Insiders have dubbed the options "Go Big," "Go Long" and "Go Home."

- Washington Post, "Pentagon May Suggest Short-Term Buildup Leading to Iraq Exit"

The Beachwood Study Group has also developed some options.

* Go Chicago: Divide Iraq into 50 wards and install a strongman.

* Go the Distance: Wait for deceased smarter strategists to come out of the cornfields with a solution.

* Go Bears. Not good on the attack, but should be able to contain offensives inside the Green Zone.

* Go Fuck Yourself: Send Dick Cheney to verbally assault.

* Go Your Own Way: Send in Fleetwood Mac. If they can overcome their differences to reunite, imagine what they can do to help settle sectarian differences.

* GO.com: Bring sects together with ugly, conglomerated website.

* The Go Team + OK Go = First Annual Baghdad Rock Festival.

* GoDaddy: First militia to go a month without killing anyone wins free domain name with hosting.

* Go Wild: Baghdad is beset with beer-soaked, bleach-blonde women hell-bent on removing all of their clothing. A team of "videographers" records the events "for posterity."

* Go West, Young Man: Attack Syria instead.

* Go Lightly: Sneak out in the middle of the night, possibly with the help of David Blaine.

* Do Not Pass Go: A national Monopoly turnout to determine property ownership.

* Consider: Perhaps we have a growing problem, not a going problem.

* Gomentum: Send Joe Lieberman on a fact-finding mission - to Kazakhstan.

* Go Under: What we're doing now.

- Scott Gordon, Rick Kaempfer, Steve Rhodes

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