Blago's Computers

By The Beachwood Tech Support Affairs Desk

Two of the eight computers (and a safe) reported stolen from the office of one of Rod Blagojevich's attorneys earlier this month have been recovered. Whew!

Here's what the Beachwood Tech Support Affairs Desk has learned is on the computers.

* Spreadsheet of salon appointments.

* Yelp reviews of federal prisons.

* Sortable enemies list.

* List of working families he's helped.

* Opening chapters to follow-up to The Governor, to be called The Governor of Cell Block D.

* E-mails from George Ryan telling him to "hang in there."

* List of reasons why this whole thing is totally unfair.

* List of reasons why he would be a better president than Barack Obama.

* List of reasons why Patti won't divorce him.

* Copies of prank texts sent to Patrick Fitzgerald, Pat Quinn and Michael Madigan.

* Made-up evidence being saved for trial.

* Yelp reviews of federal judges.

* Phone number for Peter Francis Geraci.

* Photoshopped image of him sitting behind the president's desk in the Oval Office.

* Memo from lawyers outlining insanity plea strategy.

* Spreadsheet comparing his best qualities to those of Gandhi and Martin Luther King.

* Unpublished essay about who is funnier, Letterman or Leno.

* Escape plan similar to the one used in Con Air.

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Your suggestions welcome.

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