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Alternative Sentences For Blago

By The Beachwood Truth In Sentencing Affairs Desk

Maybe Rod Blagojevich and his lawyers are right; prison isn't appropriate punishment for our distinguished ex-governor. Here are some alternative sentences that just might better fit his crimes.

* Sentenced to actually love the people of Illinois - one person at a time.

* Sentenced to actually playing all the tapes as part of an NPR pledge drive.

* Sentenced to actually read his book. Maybe on the air as part of an NPR pledge drive.

* Sentenced to one winter camping out with Occupy Chicago. Feds would love it because it punishes the protestors too.

* Sentenced to a lifetime as Dick Mell's son-in-law. Oh, wait . . .

* Sentenced to two years of being Governor of Illinois.

* Sentenced to two years of diagramming sentences.

* Sentenced to two years as Judge James Zagel's butler.

* Sentenced to two months as Rahm Emanuel's butler.

* Sentenced to read every Richard Roeper column from the past five years.

* Sentenced to be Billy Corgan's new bass player.

* Sentenced to read all the assigned chapters he never read in law school.

* Sentenced to apologize to all the people of Illinois - one person at a time.

- Tim Willette, Thomas Chambers, Steve Rhodes

Comments welcome.

Permalink

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