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What Rahm Saw In Vietnam

To grow up an Emanuel (see the item Being Emanuel) means to take an intensely grand vacation somewhere exotic every year and probably get quizzed by your manic, short-tempered, impatient dad, who has really important things to do back home so hurry up and enjoy the hell out of this as fast as you can because all this "relaxing" is keeping him away from what he loves to do most: Bust skulls.

This year the winter holiday trip was 10 days in Vietnam - it either felt like five or 20 to the kids - and we thought it would be interesting to see what Rahm confronted in the local press there.

(But first, imagine if you will, Rahm the tour guide: "Here's where Lyndon fucking Johnson lost us the White House and gave us Richard fucking Nixon, and if only that cocksucker Hubert fucking Humphrey wouldn't have been such a fucking pussy and Gene fucking McCarthy would have shut his fucking mouth and Robert fucking Kennedy hadn't been killed, and goddamn Bill Ayers and his fucking kook squad would have shut the fuck up, and Crosby, Stills & Nash singing 'Chicago,' well, fuck them, goddamn Mayor Daley should have sealed off Grant Park ahead of time like we did with NATO and then maybe we could have fucking won the damn thing because remember, kids, you never want to let a serious crisis go to waste.")

Anyway, here were the headlines in Vietnam during Rahm's stay there that we thought would have caught his eye:

* Vietnamese Teen Boys Crazy About Weed.

* Survey Finds Diarrhea Bug In Seafood.

* Vietnam Comes Second In Desired Destination List Of 2013.

* Lack Of Public Toilets Cramps Tourism Sector.

* The Ho Chi Minh Department Of Culture, Sports And Tourism Is Hosting A Gastronomy Festival Entitled 'Taste Of The World' From December 26, 2011 - January 1, 2012.

* The Prime Minister Has Asked The Hanoi People's Committee To Speed Up Land Clearance And Resettlement For The Hoa Lac Hi-Tech Park.

* Whole-Army Party And Political Work Observed.

* Starbucks To Open First Outlet In Vietnam In Early February.

* Malaysia To Raise Minimum Wage For Vietnamese Laborers.

* Vietnam Metro To Become Fashion Hub.

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Comments welcome.



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Posted on January 10, 2013


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