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Wall Street Bloodsuckers


Boulder, USA - Are you jealous of CEOs and their multi-million-dollar golden parachutes? Do you want your own $1,600 shower curtains paid for by the American taxpayer? Do you wish that you, too, could suck the life force out of your fellow citizens? Now you can - with Wall Street Bloodsuckers™! Wall Street Bloodsuckers™ can be purchased online at for $19.99 a pair.

WallStBloodSuckers1.jpgWelcome to the first product on the market that allows you to instantly join the ranks of that blood-thirsty, pin-striped, subspecies known as The Banking Executive (nocturnes huminus financitis). The popular supernatural drama, True Blood, follows the co-existence of vampires and humans in a fictional Louisiana town. But the real bloodsuckers reside in Manhattan, and can be found leeching off retirement plans, savings accounts, foreclosed homes and, with the help of their vampire cousins in Washington, D.C., draining the blood of the American taxpayer.

Wall Street Bloodsuckers™ can help you take what's rightfully yours. You deserve a second mansion in a sunny part of the country and five luxury cars complete with mink-lined interiors. Why should the people who work on Wall Street have all the fun? That 10% unemployment rate doesn't concern you. Heck, you have money to burn. Just look in your fireplace!

Feed off the unwashed masses
We are 34 months into the one of the most harrowing recessions since the United States was founded. Literary historian Susan Sellers describes the bloodsucker myth as "nightmare fantasy" and she could have easily been speaking about the current state of affairs. In 2008, Wall Street CEO's were handed billions of dollars, most of which they handed out as employee bonuses. You weren't one of them, but you wish you were. Now it's time for you to turn around and grab your share of that bailout with Wall Street Bloodsuckers™.

Taking a bite out of the middle class
When you look out the window, do you see record numbers of foreclosed houses? No? Then you must be seeing into the future, like Sookie Stackhouse on True Blood. Wall Street Bloodsuckers™ will bring out your inner tycoon and your inner TV vampire at the same time! You will no longer have to join the people waiting in line at the food bank. You (and your $1,200 exotic crocodile skin shoes) can walk past them on the way to your chauffeured limo, baring the pointy fangs that you've earned as a Wall Street leech.

Pricing and Availability
Wall Street Bloodsuckers™ can be purchased online at for $19.99 a pair. Like the Dracula Fangs™ made and sold by Foothills Creations LTD, they come in medium and large sizes, so no matter how big or small your teeth are, you can still sink them into the average American taxpayer.

About Foothill Creations LTD
Foothills Creations LTD is located in Boulder, Colorado, and was first started as Foothills Distributing Co., in 1968. In the early 1970's Foothills began to emerge into the Halloween field, and became the largest Halloween distributor in the Rocky Mountain region. When Halloween trade shows began to be created in 1985, Foothills decided to specialize in fewer Halloween items, offering exclusive Halloween products that other companies did not offer, and began selling these products nationwide. In 1994, because there was no good method of applying universal fangs, Foothills developed and patented the non-toxic Alpha 1 Thermoplastic method of applying universal fangs, which we called the created product, Custom Dracula Fangs. With the formulation of our Alpha 1 application, which creates a fang specific to your bite, and will not inadvertently fall out, but allows you to easily take them in and out of your mouth, our Custom Dracula fangs have never been eclipsed by any other brand of universal fangs.

About the Wall Street Bailout
The Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008 (Division A of Pub.L. 110-343, enacted October 3, 2008), commonly referred to as a bailout of the U.S. financial system, is a law enacted in response to the subprime mortgage crisis authorizing the United States Secretary of the Treasury to spend up to $700 billion to purchase distressed assets, especially mortgage-backed securities, and make capital injections into banks. Both foreign and domestic banks are included in the program. The Federal Reserve also extended help to American Express, whose bank-holding application it recently approved. The Act was proposed by Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson during the global financial crisis of 2008.


Comments welcome.


Posted on September 15, 2010

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