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United Airlines Has Finally Gone Too Far"Inside one of the busiest concourses at O'Hare International Airport, the recorded announcement cautioning travelers that 'the moving walkway is now ending'' means what it says," the Tribune reports. "United Airlines has started to remove all eight moving walkway belts in Concourse C of Terminal 1 at O'Hare. The airline says the equipment, originally installed more than 20 years ago as a convenience for tired, bag-toting passengers, now just gets in the way." United Airlines, you are just the worst. The moving walkways were one of the few pleasures of O'Hare airport; a joy in life that was also quite useful. They should make the whole airport one big moving walkway! "The walkways in C inhibit passenger flow across the concourse,'' United spokesman Luke Punzenberger said. "Removing the walkways will make it easier for customers to move both lengthwise and across the width of the concourse.'' Oh, of course. We know what that means. "Eliminating the moving walkways will free up space for other uses, possibly including new, more creative retail stores and upscale food-and-beverage concessions aimed at luring travelers to more appealing spending options and producing more revenue for the city." Maybe focus more on being a freakin' airport and not a shopping mall! Christ. "Individuals who do not follow walkway etiquette - walk left, stand right - create traffic jams. And every year hundreds of walkway users at U.S. airports get hurt taking tumbles, according to safety authorities. Meanwhile, children can't seem to resist the temptation to behave like the walkways are an amusement park ride." Oh please! In addition, research indicates that the walkways do not save travelers significant time because people tend to walk slower when using the devices. Feel free to repurpose this tweet as a response to that:
The only bad thing about the walkways was the feeling of being back on dry land when stepping off. They oughta put these on downtown sidewalks! Thanks, United (and Tribune) for taking more fun out of life. The transformation of humans into solely commercially exploitable machines is almost complete. - They have 'em in Toronto! * They have 'em in Newark! * They have 'em in Houston! * They have 'em in Paris! World-class! * Dancing! *
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AGREED. TIMES 1,000. - Posted on September 22, 2015 |
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