Chicago - Dec. 14, 2017
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
 
Beachwood PP&T
Our monthly PP&T archive.
Chicagoetry
Rhymes for the Times.
Beachwood Bookmarks
So You've Decided To Be Evil
Vintage Beer Signs
Easy Bar Tricks
Best of Craigslist
Wacky Packages
Chicagology
Taquitos Snack Food Reviews
How Products Are Made
Everyday Mysteries
Chicago Zombie
FAIL
Texts From Last Night
Fuck My Life
Awkward Family Photos
QuackWatch
Alcademics
Lamebook
Ultra Local Geography
Uncyclopedia
Best Pinball Machine Ever
Land of Sky Beer Waters
Calumet 412
Chicago Patterns
Vince Michael's Time Tells

Exclusive Tips To Prepare For Severe Weather Ahead!

Cold temperatures, heavy snow and treacherous ice storms are all risks of the impending winter season.

"Severe winter weather can be dangerous and even life-threatening for people who don't take the proper precautions," said FEMA Region V acting administrator Janet Odeshoo. "Preparedness begins with knowing your risks, making a communications plan with your family and having an emergency supply kit with essentials such as water, food, flashlights and medications."

"Gonna get cold, y'all!" the Beachwood Weather Monkey added.

Once you've taken these steps, consider going beyond the basics of disaster preparedness with the following tips to stay safe this cold season.

Before winter approaches, add the following items to your supply kit:

* Rock salt or other environmentally safe products to melt ice on walkways.

* Slim Jims.

* Sand to improve traction.

* Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece.

* Snow shovels and other snow removal equipment.

* Medical marijuana.

* Sufficient heating fuel and/or a good supply of dry, seasoned wood for your fireplace or wood-burning stove.

* A knife. For your Slim Jims. Gonna be cold, y'all!

* Adequate clothing and blankets to keep you warm.

Stay fire safe:

* Keep flammable items at least three feet from heat sources like radiators, space heaters, fireplaces and wood stoves.

* Put those Slim Jims on a stick.

* Plug only one heat-producing appliance (such as a space heater) into an electrical outlet at a time. Unless you're still cold. then plug as many as you can. YOLO.

* Ensure you have a working smoke alarm on every level of your home. Check it on a monthly basis by building a fire and seeing if it goes off.

Keep warm, even when it's cold outside:

* If you have a furnace, have it inspected now to ensure it's in good working condition. Or not. It's prolly good to go.

* If your home heating requires propane gas, stock up on your propane supply and ensure you have enough to last an entire winter. Many homeowners faced shortages due to the record freezing winter weather last year, and this season there's the possibility of lower than normal temperatures again. Don't be caught unprepared. And by propane, we mean condoms.

* Avoid the dangers of carbon monoxide by installing battery-powered or battery back-up carbon monoxide detectors.

* Use nitrous oxide to keep dangerous moments light.

* Winterize your home to extend the life of your fuel supply by insulating walls and attics, caulking and weather-stripping doors and windows, and installing storm windows or covering windows with plastic.

Prevent frozen pipes:

* If your "pipes" are vulnerable to "freezing," i.e., they run through an "unheated or unprotected space," consider keeping your "faucet" at a "slow drip" when "extremely cold temperatures" are predicted.

-

Comments welcome.



Permalink

Posted on November 17, 2014


MUSIC - The Weekend In Chicago Rock.
TV - Cricket vs. Brexit.
POLITICS - Charter Schools Complicit With Segregation.
SPORTS - USA Gymnastics Bans Illinois Coach.

BOOKS - The Randomness Of Harvard Admissions.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Public Lands Matter.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Email:

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter



Beachwood Radio!


Ask Me Anything!



Wool and Hoop