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The Year in Preview: 2007

A preview of 2007.

* First political offspring to be promoted to mysteriously resigned political office: Glenna White-Jones, daughter of Secretary of State Jesse White.

(Amy Blagojevich, 10; Annie Blagojevich, 3; Malia Obama, 7; and Sasha Obama, 5; are being groomed for 2016, 2030, 2024, and 2034.)

* Number of major league starts by Mark Prior: 6.

* Number of times Todd Stroger is consulted on important Cook County decisions: 0.

* Date of Rod Blagojevich's indictment: November 17.

* Number of points Bears lose first playoff game by: 14.

* First celebrity breakup: Jim Carrey & Jenny McCarthy.

* Percentage of votes Mayor Daley receives in Mayoral election: 73.

* Number of Bulls playoff victories: 3.

* Month of first story about 40th anniversary of the Summer of Love: February.

* Number of times Tribune editorial board encourages Obama to run for president before endorsing his Republican rival: 3.

* Month of Warner Saunders "surprise" retirement announcement at Channel 5: June.

* Number of joint media appearances by figure skater Sasha Cohen & comedian Sasha Baron Cohen: 0.

* Number of times Todd Stroger will give an incredibly vague and dimwitted answer to a direct question: 742.

* Name of Mary Cheney/Heather Poe offspring: Jerry Lee Cheney-Poe.

* Average number of fans attending White Sox games in May: 18,000.

* Number of times the word "Iraq" appears on the front page of the Sun Times: 10.

* Number of troops in Iraq in December 2007: 130,000.

* Number of times Mayor Daley is "shocked" by corruption news coming out of City Hall: 4.

* Date of first Lou Pinella ejection: April 30.

* Title of Ann Coulter's next book: Pussies.

* First 2008 Presidential candidate to officially bow out of the race: Chris Dodd.

* Date Chicago Cubs are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs: September 4.

* Number of Michael Richards' movies: 0.

* Attendance at final Blackhawks home game: 63 (paid).

* Number of times a local weatherman is blamed for bad weather by local anchors: 73.

* Date Jay Mariotti calls for Ken Williams firing: August 6.

* Number of joint media appearances by William Jefferson and William Jefferson Clinton: 0.

* Number of Big Ten schools in the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament: 4

* Number of other politicians discovered to have real-estate deals with Tony Rezko: 3

* Lower ERA - Dave Aardmsa or Neal Cotts: Aardsma.

* Number of dustups between David Gregory and Tony Snow: 12.

* Most likely to appear on The Surreal Life: K-Fed.

* Number of games it will take for Lou Pinella to call Aramis Ramirez out for loafing: 4.

* Number of people VP Cheney accidentally shoots in the face: 0. But not because he won't try.

- Rick Kaempfer, Tim Willette, Marty Gangler, ML Van Valkenburgh, Steve Rhodes



Permalink

Posted on January 2, 2007


MUSIC - Britney's IUD.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - Locked Out And Loaded.

BOOKS - Foxconned.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Don't Let Your Pet OD.


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