Chicago - Jul. 12, 2022
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
Beachwood PP&T
Our monthly PP&T archive.
Rhymes for the Times.
Beachwood Bookmarks
So You've Decided To Be Evil
Vintage Beer Signs
Easy Bar Tricks
Best of Craigslist
Wacky Packages
Taquitos Snack Food Reviews
How Products Are Made
Everyday Mysteries
Chicago Zombie
Texts From Last Night
Fuck My Life
Awkward Family Photos
Ultra Local Geography
Best Pinball Machine Ever
Land of Sky Beer Waters
Calumet 412
Chicago Patterns
Vince Michael's Time Tells
Renegades of Funk Chicago
History vs. Hollywood

The Year in Preview: 2007

A preview of 2007.

* First political offspring to be promoted to mysteriously resigned political office: Glenna White-Jones, daughter of Secretary of State Jesse White.

(Amy Blagojevich, 10; Annie Blagojevich, 3; Malia Obama, 7; and Sasha Obama, 5; are being groomed for 2016, 2030, 2024, and 2034.)

* Number of major league starts by Mark Prior: 6.

* Number of times Todd Stroger is consulted on important Cook County decisions: 0.

* Date of Rod Blagojevich's indictment: November 17.

* Number of points Bears lose first playoff game by: 14.

* First celebrity breakup: Jim Carrey & Jenny McCarthy.

* Percentage of votes Mayor Daley receives in Mayoral election: 73.

* Number of Bulls playoff victories: 3.

* Month of first story about 40th anniversary of the Summer of Love: February.

* Number of times Tribune editorial board encourages Obama to run for president before endorsing his Republican rival: 3.

* Month of Warner Saunders "surprise" retirement announcement at Channel 5: June.

* Number of joint media appearances by figure skater Sasha Cohen & comedian Sasha Baron Cohen: 0.

* Number of times Todd Stroger will give an incredibly vague and dimwitted answer to a direct question: 742.

* Name of Mary Cheney/Heather Poe offspring: Jerry Lee Cheney-Poe.

* Average number of fans attending White Sox games in May: 18,000.

* Number of times the word "Iraq" appears on the front page of the Sun Times: 10.

* Number of troops in Iraq in December 2007: 130,000.

* Number of times Mayor Daley is "shocked" by corruption news coming out of City Hall: 4.

* Date of first Lou Pinella ejection: April 30.

* Title of Ann Coulter's next book: Pussies.

* First 2008 Presidential candidate to officially bow out of the race: Chris Dodd.

* Date Chicago Cubs are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs: September 4.

* Number of Michael Richards' movies: 0.

* Attendance at final Blackhawks home game: 63 (paid).

* Number of times a local weatherman is blamed for bad weather by local anchors: 73.

* Date Jay Mariotti calls for Ken Williams firing: August 6.

* Number of joint media appearances by William Jefferson and William Jefferson Clinton: 0.

* Number of Big Ten schools in the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament: 4

* Number of other politicians discovered to have real-estate deals with Tony Rezko: 3

* Lower ERA - Dave Aardmsa or Neal Cotts: Aardsma.

* Number of dustups between David Gregory and Tony Snow: 12.

* Most likely to appear on The Surreal Life: K-Fed.

* Number of games it will take for Lou Pinella to call Aramis Ramirez out for loafing: 4.

* Number of people VP Cheney accidentally shoots in the face: 0. But not because he won't try.

- Rick Kaempfer, Tim Willette, Marty Gangler, ML Van Valkenburgh, Steve Rhodes


Posted on January 2, 2007

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter

Beachwood Radio!