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The Week in WTF

1. Blago sentencing blather, WTF?

On the theory that political scum pusher Tony Rezko deserved 10 years in prison, there's no reason to be shy about his royal patron.

After Rod Blagojevich gets his presumed two-digit sentence on Tuesday, there will be the usual post-perp walk platitudes about "sending a message that we won't tolerate political corruption" yada yada. As much as wish that was the explicit transaction at hand, it's not.

We put burglars and rapists in prison, but we haven't put burglary and rape out of business as a life choice. Similarly, politicians are not dishonest because they don't know what integrity is. They are dishonest because they don't care and because the financial benefit is too alluring. Thieves mostly choose that life because honesty is harder work.

There is only so much time in a person's life. You use that time either to earn money or steal money. Blago just preferred to steal it.

2. Sharon Bialek, WTF?

We suppose that money problems can damage a political whistleblower's bona fides, but has this opposition research technique become the 2011 version of "she was asking for it"?

Sharon to Herman: What sort of girl do you think I am?

Herman to Sharon: I've seen your credit score. I know what sort of girl you are.

And as for linguistic precision, the objects of Herman Cain's sexual dalliances could not be anything other than "whistleblowers."

3. Horse slaughter, WTF?

True, Illinois banned the last of its DeKalb horse slaughter operations in 2007 because even Americans have some standards of human conduct they can't ignore.

But now comes word that you might soon be able to munch on Trigger's innards if you wish

When the business went dark, the three surviving slaughterhouses were offing 88,000 horses a year.

The nations that love horse meat are also the nations where soccer is most beloved. Just an observation.

4. Theo and Albert, WTF?

Every sign surmises the Cubs are "interested" in either slugger Albert Pujols or Prince Fielder for the first Book of Theo addition. Of course, a countervailing and just as logical interpretation is that they are not. As Cardinals savant Bernie Miklasz notes, kicking the tires is not negotiating.

And though it's considered bad manners to point it out these days as we sip the Theo Kool-Aid, Theo Epstein made some stupendously bad Jim Hendry-like deals with the Red Sox when no one there was astute enough to tell him no. Those deals don't get you fired when the team wins anyway, but it does send you out the door when the team collapses.

So, it wouldn't be surprising if Epstein wants to spend $200 million of Tom Ricketts' money on one player because he's had those urges before. Ricketts hasn't shown the same enthusiasm up to now.

5. Soccer balls, WTF?

Getting struck in the cranium too often with a soccer sphere - WILLLSONNN!!!! - not only makes you covet the taste of horse flesh but apparently also makes you speak with a European accent.

6. Bonus WTF?

For the pre-yule holiday interregnum.

A) Deborah Guyette: Hey, I thought you guys didn't care about possession of pot anymore.

B) Needy thieves: You just had to ask.

C) Rahm, the fourth Magi: We are told the mayor is paying more attention to his kinder/gentler rep these days. Or maybe not.

-

Comments welcome.



Permalink

Posted on December 2, 2011


MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Don't Let Your Pet OD.


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