Chicago - Nov. 20, 2021
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
 
Beachwood PP&T
Our monthly PP&T archive.
Chicagoetry
Rhymes for the Times.
Beachwood Bookmarks
So You've Decided To Be Evil
Vintage Beer Signs
Easy Bar Tricks
Best of Craigslist
Wacky Packages
Chicagology
Taquitos Snack Food Reviews
How Products Are Made
Everyday Mysteries
Chicago Zombie
FAIL
Texts From Last Night
Fuck My Life
Awkward Family Photos
QuackWatch
Alcademics
Lamebook
Ultra Local Geography
Uncyclopedia
Best Pinball Machine Ever
Land of Sky Beer Waters
Calumet 412
Chicago Patterns
Vince Michael's Time Tells
Renegades of Funk Chicago
History vs. Hollywood

The Week in WTF

1. Maggie Daley, WTF?

We do not recall anyone but the lively folks at the Chicago Reader energetically chasing Richard Daley's TIF shell game, which means the news of this was largely a surprise to to many people in the MSM. As with the Jon Burge torture regime, this was a topic that local news execs thought lacked an audience because it was too wonky. It could not compete with other breaking news bulletins - like it's going to be cold and snowy this winter in Chicago.

But think of this: While Chicago government reels from supposed cash starvation, the money hidden in TIF accounts is roughly one-sixth more of what the city spends on everything.

2. Creepy cadavers, WTF?

Requiring Uncle Clarence's unclaimed body to be hauled off for medical research might make sense from a Cook County money standpoint. But gosh, excuse us for being totally creeped out. Is this not punishing poverty and a sad lonely life with the ultimate assault on human dignity - after death we treat you like a dead lab rat without even finding out what you wanted?

Yes, it's all for the general good, we suppose, although even people with money and education hardly ever vote to donate their body to science. It creeps them out, too. The difference is they get to decide for themselves.

3. Elizabeth Tisdahl, WTF?

And the entire student body of Northwestern University raised its arms in doobie-fed ecstasy at the support from Evanston's mayor.

4. Stevan Stevlik, WTF?

What sort of "rehabilitation program" is available for soliciting a hooker?

Does it cure you of horniness? And does the treatment involve electroshock of genitals?

As an intrusion of big government into personal behavior, a Tea Party bigwig should have been consistent and refused government help with his hooker habit.

5. The Ditka boys, WTF?

When anyone named Ditka gets behind the wheel out in Deerfield, sirens wail in every cop precinct in Lake County.

Odds seem pretty high - as are they - that both of them will be drunk when they turn the key. Look it up.

The fact that Da Coach's middle-aged sons are both slack-faced drunk drivers is not the greatest tragedy in the world - until they hit someone with the Lexus - but the old man still makes a handsome media living lecturing about manly virtues.

-

Comments welcome.



Permalink

Posted on October 7, 2011


MUSIC - Britney's IUD.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - Climate Deniers' 4 Top Scare Tactics.
SPORTS - The McEnroes In Antarctica.

BOOKS - Foxconned.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Don't Let Your Pet OD.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Email:

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter



Beachwood Radio!