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The Week in WTF

1. Chicago pot, WTF?

In a rare moment of civic fuddyduddyism, WTF recently stated doubts (see No. 5) about the wisdom of giving everyone in Chicago a free toke. We want to reconsider that harsh, judgmental position against pot because it started to sound like WTF's father. We like this position much better.

A marketing plan - let's make pot free, but charge 100 bucks in tax for each Bic lighter. WTF claims shotgun for the drive to Hammond to buy cheap Indiana lighters.

Reporteth the Tribune: "Police officials are at this point only considering changing the marijuana policy, according to (police chief Garry) McCarthy. 'It's not cooked yet,' he said."

McCarthy was mixing his drug metaphors. Meth is still a bad thing.

2. Mangoes, WTF?

Pakistan gives us mangoes.

We give them sidewinders fired from drones.

Sure, you blew up my cousin Aziz and his entire family by accident, but at least you bought our mangoes; so everything is just fine. "Kha woraz walary." That's Pashto for "Have a nice day."

3. ComEd, WTF?

Our neighborhood electricity producer continues to flog the regally, legally deceased equine about ComEd's superb reliability. Hey, ComEd, we're right here in the room. We can hear you.

ComEd apparently has found a way to slice, dice and dissect statistics to show it is a paragon of efficiency and not the village idiot. A neat trick.

We normally take no serious notice of PR flackery - like lawyers, they'll say whatever they're paid to say - but being sent out from behind the corporate curtain to pitch this silliness must be a tough way to earn a buck.

We did note that Tabrina Davis didn't hold a press conference to make the case. She sent an e-mail. Luckily for her, the power was still on when she hit the "send" button.

4. Emmett Till, WTF?

There is something vaguely creepy about Mississippi turning a gas station linked to Emmett Till's murder into a tourist stop, but whatever Mississippi's odd cognitive dissonance in cultural retrospectives, it sure beats Illinois, which can't find a way to even bury the young man with dignity.

5. Doofus and the toll roads, WTF?

Do you get the feeling that Gov. Pat Quinn (D-Doofus) is perpetually surprised by every major initiative from the rest of state government - some of which reports to him?

So now the Toll Road commanders want to double the take for a new massive construction plan, but Quinn cannot say one way or another what he thinks. He's pondering. Really Deep Thoughts.

Just as he could not tell what he thought of the gambling expansion or the permanent ban on capital punishment.

Either he really doesn't know what he thinks (a sad but distinct possibility), or he's waiting for the people who tell him what to do to tell him what to do. In either case, being in a coma is not deep contemplation.

-

Comments welcome.



Permalink

Posted on August 4, 2011


MUSIC - Britney's IUD.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - Locked Out And Loaded.

BOOKS - Foxconned.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Don't Let Your Pet OD.


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