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The Week in WTF

1. Rahm, WTF?

So, we're still not bubbly about Rahm Emanuel as mayor, but it's not a job for well-meaning amateurs. Some of the amateurs aren't even so well-meaning.

But the challenge against his residency to keep him from running is shoddy and dishonest, and should almost make anyone but a strident Rahm-hater take his side. At the least, they are making him look like a victim of - criminee - crooked Chicago politicians.

It's the kind of trick that someone totally cynical might have designed to make the most unsympathetic face in Illinois seem like a victim. Just a thought.

Is he a Chicago resident who went off to serve the nation in a temp assignment? Of course. Don't be a daffy dilettante. To say otherwise is cheap, tawdry and oh-so Chicago. On the other hand, has anyone seen his birth certificate? He might be Obama's Kenyan second cousin.

We're still hoping Roland Burris surges in the polls.

2. Todd Stroger, WTF?

When your house is submerged by an overflowing river - as occasionally happens in Chicago - guess what you most crave from your government: Financial help cleaning up the mess? Loans? A slice of the federal stimulus cash pie? Nah.

Apparently County Board Prez Todd Stroger thought a federally paid $79,000 fete at the Brookfield Zoo was just the thing to make waterlogged people happy that their bedrooms were still soggy.

But we are concerned. As great an idea as this is, something was missing. Sure they had face painters, caricature artists, jugglers and stiltwalkers. And, of course, Stroger, the biggest clown of all.

But no word about mimes. No love for Marcel Marceau wannabes? The lack probably violates some law against dissing odd French mutes trapped inside phantom closets.

3. New Trier High School, WTF?

New Trier High, which apparently has a raging case of collective amnesia, has indicted, er, wait a second, we meant inducted former SecDef Don Rumsfeld into its alumni Hall of Fame. WTF?

At least they barred new U.S. Senator Mark Kirk from the Hall, which means they do have an anti-weasel proviso in the bylaws. But then they also rejected Ann-Margret. And her legs, too. Both of them. That's just wrong on so many levels. Also, the likely next mayor of Chicago, Rahm Emanuel, didn't make the grade. This must be like one of those secret Harvard clubs. Walter Jacobson isn't good enough, either.

Charlton Heston apparently wasn't even nominated. WTF? You would have had to pry the alumni statuette from his cold, dead hand.

Of those who made the list and those who didn't, only Rumsfeld is responsible for the mass deaths of innocents, or at least thousands of unlucky bystanders who didn't know they were part of Rummy's grand geo-political machinations in Iraq. He helped fib the country into war with a military ill-prepared. His lack of leadership with a tactical necessity as obvious as well-armored vehicles cost hundreds of young Americans their lives. "You go to war with the army you have, not the army you want." Remember?

Rummy also was a big fan of detainee torture.

There are known known knowns and known unknowns but this is a known with no mystery. He may be an Alumni Hall of Famer now, but he was a stone cold war criminal first.

4. Republicans, WTF?

Poor children can be such a pain in the ass.

First of all, they're children. So they're hardly any good at all for factory work. If there were any factory work.

And because their parents are poor, these poor children often are hungry, which is a bother. It's not so much they're a bother because you must care; it's a bother because they complain about being hungry. Whine, whine, whine.

It is indeed lucky for us that we have the Republican Party to prevent us feeding these poor children and wasting the nation's booty.

Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?

5. Lake County prosecutors, WTF?

The Jon Burge Traveling Torture Trophy goes to Lake County in the Jerry Hobbs "he's-innocent-but-let's-fry-him-on general-principles" case. He's suing.

You know how bad it is for misbehaving prosecutors and cops when the chief counsel for the City of Waukegan essentially throws up a white towel and bellows no mas. Just give us the bill now for his tricked-up false confession and five needless years in jail and try not to add too many zeroes on the end of the number, he says.

There's a big check eventually due in the mail.


David Rutter is the former publisher/editor of the Lake County News-Sun, a Sun-Times Media property. He welcomes your comments.


Posted on December 3, 2010

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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