The Week in WTF

1. 2 million, WTF?

While we all bask in the post-coital glow that is Blackhawks Fever, we have one final thought from the WTF Office of Crazy-Ass Counting:

If there actually were 2 million fans at the recent downtown celebration, that would equal the combined populations of Detroit and San Francisco. Or all of Dallas and Fort Worth together. Or put another way, one in every four people in the Chicago Metro Area. Does that seem likely?

The tabulation started with ABC-TV locals (a well-known reliable source for guessing) and was followed quickly by an unnamed "Official in the Mayor's Office of Special Events."

Right. And Colonel Custer's Office of Special Events estimated the number of Sioux at Little Big Horn to be roughly 2.7 million.

2. Jim Laski, WTF?

I can take a joke as well as the next guy, but convicted muni-bribery maven Jim Laski on WGN-AM as a talk jock? What-the-ROYAL-F!

Sure, Laski hasn't escaped notice before, but ya' know, there are just some dead horses that you can't resist hitting again and again. His morning chat with listeners on Monday included using the inventive and hilarious "cha-ching" device to deride Schaumburg politicos for their traffic cameras.

Then there was the you've-got-to-be-kidding jabs over poor financial management by government. And then . . . he referred to the financial aspects of the teen lost at sea on her 'round the world trip as "shady." And then . . . He directed a midday fill-in spot with this central question: "Can we fire a woman from her job because she's too sexy?"

Hello? HELL-O!?

First, WTF knows that all radio is schtick, so let's not get all moralizing and uppity. But Chicago (and WGN) has some history of high-quality, smart, thoughtful radio schtick. That, of course, was before Sam Zell's management minions began assassinating the station's personnel. They apparently line up against a wall at dawn and are asked if they want a last cigarette. I also have noticed call-in listeners at WGN are getting proportionally more stupid, too. When I appear to be the smartest person listening, it's a bad sign.

But Laski deriding anyone for "shadiness"? Wasn't irony killed in the last decade? I got a report. I'm sure of it.

3. Dr. Conrad Murray, WTF?

Okay, so he may have killed Michael Jackson, but let's be fair to the guy. Everybody dies. The judge in his trial - due for launch sometime in the year 2021 - says he can keep his medical license. WTF. But he's strictly forbidden from killing anyone else in the interim. California once again claims supremacy in the back-and-forth tussle with Illinois for the leading WTF jurisdiction in our land of enchantment.

We particularly love this description in the Associated Press story: "Murray maintains nothing he did should have killed Jackson."

Sounds like another Sacco and Vanzetti put-up job to me.

4. Notre Dame Nation, WTF?

Every once in a while, Notre Dame's football fans at www.ndnation.com fans launch a jihad. Usually they assault their own. But now they have a better target - David Haugh of the Tribune, who seems in favor of the Irish joining the Big Ten.

Death to the Infidel. Drop your subscription.

The extended vituperation against Haugh included this WTF post: "He is to hard work, logical thought, and journalistic integrity what a flaming hamster is to Richard Gere's rectal tissue."

I could explain the cultural reference, but it works adequately without.

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David Rutter is the former publisher/editor of the Lake County News-Sun, a Sun-Times Media property. He welcomes your comments.

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Previously in The Week in WTF:
* TWIWTF: Walter Jacobson, Mark Kirk, the Sun-Times

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Also by David Rutter:
* The Lords of Ireland.

* Speaking of Notre Dame . . .

* Scheduling Notre Dame.

* Spade Robs Farley's Grave.

* Gov. Fester.

* Black Talks, Zell Walks.

* Roeper's Games.

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