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The Twelve Days of Cubness

On the 12th day of Christmas, the Cubbies gave to me
100 years of heartbreak and futility

*

The 12 Days of Cubness

On the first day of Christmas, the Cubbies gave to me
Heartbreak and Futility

On the second day of Christmas, the Cubbies gave to me
100 years of losses full of
Heartbreak and Futility

On the third day of Christmas, the Cubbies gave to me
3 - Kiki Cuyler
2 - Billy Herman
So begins the Mediocrity

On the fourth day of Christmas, the Cubbies gave to me
4 new owners
3 Donald Trumps
2 Mark Cubans
Let's get someone to spend some money

On the fifth day of Christmas, the Cubbies gave to me
Fukodome
4 Santo slip-ups
3 international incidents
Domo Arigato
How do the Japanese say Mediocrity?

On the sixth day of Christmas, the Cubbies gave to me
6 balls by Leon Durham
F-ing Steve Garvey
4 runs in the 7th
3 straight Padre wins
2 games up
This series almost killed ol' Harry

On the 7th day of Christmas, the Cubbies gave to me
'07 D-Backs sweeping
After 6 Zambrano sleeping
Wait Until Next Year
4 Pinella screw-ups
30 Lilly lit
2 for 23
A World Series is something I won't see

On the 8th day of Christmas, the Cubbies gave to me
8 runs Bartman weeping
7 ground balls Alex booting
6-4-3 not turning
5 outs to go
4 Prior pissed
3 Chicago runs
2 toothpicks
Another Curse and more Futility

On the 9th day of Christmas, the Cubbies gave to me
'98 Atlanta sweeping
'89 Will Clark keeps hitting
'70's team are shitty
'69 Cubs a-choking
'05 White Sox win
'45 Goat Curse
'32 Babe Ruth's called shot
99 years of infertility

On the 10th day of Christmas, the Cubbies gave to me
10 Santo skipping
9 Hundley catching
8 1/2-game lead is dwindling
7 Peanut Lowery Coaching
6 Randy Bobb is hardly playing
The Amazing Mets
Don Young going crazy
A black cat
2 games for Ernie Banks
The year I learned to shout obscenities

On the 11th day of Christmas, the Cubbies gave to me
11 - Carl Sawatski
10 - Paul Gillespie
9 - Rube Novotney
8 - Vic Roxnovsky
7 - Joe Giradi
6 - Joe Altobelli
5 - Amalfitano
4 - Billy Williams
3 - Lou Klein
2 - Herman Franks
What a franchise for this century

On the 12th day of Christmas, the Cubbies gave to me
12 Bleacher Babes a-kissin
11 troughs for pissing
10 concrete a-falling
9 Yuppies yapping
8 drunkards napping
7th inning singers crappy
6 ticket brokers scalping
5 Frosty Malts
4 Beanie babies
3 long balls
2 Ivy walls
99 years of futility

*

Lyrics/arrangement: Tom Latourette
Singers: Tom Latourette, Bill Latourette, Tom Noelle, Steve Rhodes
Recorded by: Joe Dilillo, Maxim Entertainment Group

*

The 12 Days of Beachwood Christmas:

- Day 1: Have a Dysfunctional Family Christmas
- Day 2: Little George Bush
- Day 3: Hillary, Hillary
- Day 4: O Holy Grill
- Day 5: Christmas Lingerie
- Day 6: I've Got Erectile Dysfunction This Christmas
- Day 7: 1908
- Day 8: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas At El Taco Bandito
- Day 9: O Christmas Pole
- Day 10: O Sumenberger
- Day 11: I'm Santa Claus
- Day 12: The Twelve Days of Cubness

*

Special season greetings to our First Lady!

- Congratulations!

And:

- This one goes out to all our Jewish friends out there.

*

Special thanks to Tom Latourette, Don's Grill, the Cubs and Joe at Maxim.



Permalink

Posted on December 25, 2007


MUSIC - The Weekend In Chicago Rock.
TV - Slow TV Chicago.
POLITICS - The Geographic Politics Of Immigrant Detention Centers.
SPORTS - The Ghost Of Dayan Viciedo.

BOOKS - Meet Chicago's American Writers Museum.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Beachwood Photo Booth: American Spring.


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