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The O'Hare UFO: What It Really Was
By The Beachwood Spinning Disc-Shaped Object Affairs DeskWhat was that unidentified flying object spotted hovering above Gate C-17 at O'Hare airport recently? A Beachwood investigation has narrowed the list to these 20 possibilities.
- A giant rotating TIF district.
- Dennis FitzSimons' golden parachute.
- A Starbucks location-scouting drone.
- The Alpha Centauri Outfit collecting their cut.
- Oprah's ego.
- Barack Obama's secret campaign headquarters.
- Barack Obama's space minders checking in on the status of Project Earth.
- Soldier Field on its first mission.
- An alien troop surge.
- Kanye West's ride.
- The Cubs' payroll spinning out of control.
- Rod Blagojevich's space minders delivering further instructions and a bigger comb.
- The Department of Homeland Security picking up all those hair products confiscated by airport security.
- O'Hare's first blue-light surveillance camera.
- Pat Robertson's ride.
- A CIA rendition ship.
- The Silver Line.
- ComEd's new headquarters.
- Ditka.
- George Ryan's getaway ship.
Posted on January 08, 2007
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