Chicago - Jul. 12, 2022
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The Five Dumbest Ideas of The Week

1. Attention, Chicago police officers: Starbucks has not gotten the memo that you're entitled to a lifetime supply of free coffee and donuts - actually, scones if we're talking about Starbucks. Flashing your badge, waving your gun and just generally acting like an ass in hopes of a free lunch will only garner a 15-month suspension, as Officer Barbara Nevers is about to find out. (Hint: next time, try 7/11, Babs.)

2. Oh to be young and stupid again like those 26 Texas cheerleaders who thought it would be fun to stuff an elevator that was designed to accommodate 15 people. Much hilarity ensued but then the teens got stuck inside and called both firefighters and the police to rescue them. Sometimes life is just like a really bad Tommy Lee Jones movie.

3. After her moribund movie career - Coyote Ugly, anyone? - and giving birth to two of the most obnoxious TV shows in recent memory, Tyra Banks has one unfulfilled ambition: to be First Lady. If she can only get a contract to make videos for Barack Obama, she'll be on her way.

4. We don't know any men who want to don false eyelashes before that big date, but British company Eylure is betting they're out there. You'll be relieved to know that these guylashes are very natural in appearance. To be honest, they're kinda cute in a Bambi sort of way.

5. Yes, Virginia, there is something more futile than conducting a march on behalf of Hillary Clinton at the Democratic National Convention. Members of the Raelian Movement are planning a demonstration as well. Raelians believe that the world was created as a giant lab experiment by extra-terrestrials. Sounds like an interesting premise for a reality show hosted by Tyra Banks.


Posted on August 9, 2008

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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