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The Five Dumbest Ideas Of The Week

By Stephanie B. Goldberg

1. G-20 etiquette pointers: When meeting her royal Corgi-ness, do not pat her on the back.

Also, do not blow air kisses or make jokes about inbreeding or tell her that she's much more attractive than her stamp or say "Why the long face?" to Camilla Parker Bowles while brandishing a carrot or lump of sugar.

2. Rebuffed in her attempt to adopt yet another Malawi child with living relatives, Madonna consoled herself by adopting her 22-year-old boyfriend Jesus Luz. We can't wait to see their Christmas cards.

3. Danone, the parent company of Dannon Yogurt, pulled the plug on Essensis Yogurt, which was marketed in France with the modest claim that it would make people who ate it more beautiful. "Somewhat stupid" was how Swedish marketer Peter Wennstrom described the product's potential customer, adding that "it's a Bridget Jones kind of product . . . but even she will only buy it once." Or twice, tops.

Editor's Note: I heard Camilla Parker Bowles was their biggest customer . . .

4. After state lawmakers debated withholding millions of dollars in aid to the University of Maryland, the school's administration rescinded its decision to allow the screening of an X-rated movie in the student union and then checked their calendars to make sure they hadn't time-traveled back to 1972.

5. What's black and white and bleeding red all over? Last week, the answer would have been the Chicago Tribune. This week, however, the answer is the Chicago Sun-Times and the Chicago Tribune. Top that, Big Apple!

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Twit of the Week: Bonnie Fuller
"Someone at my gym pointed out that people in a lather about Madonna adopting, just jealous. THEY want to be adopted by her. "

6:11 AM Apr 1st from txt

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Look for Stephanie Goldberg's Five Dumbest Ideas of the Week in this space every Friday.



Permalink

Posted on April 3, 2009


MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Don't Let Your Pet OD.


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