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The Five Dumbest Ideas of the Week

1. "I'm taking my case to the people."

Say, Rod, how's that working out for you? Maybe you'll boycott the criminal trial too?

2. Cadillac spokesmodel Kate Walsh wants to know: When you turn your car on, does it return the favor?

Only if you pop for the non-standard attachment.

3. Like us, you're probably staying up nights wondering: Without $18 billion in bonuses, how will we ever retain all that top-flight Merrill Lynch talent and keep them from jumping to lucrative careers in, say, adult entertainment or multilevel marketing?

(Since it's the thought that counts, how about a singing telegram from Beachwood favorite Michael Burbach?)

4. Thanks to the New York Times, we learned this week that our president's personal chef is from the University of Chicago, much like his chief economist of the Economic Recovery Advisory Board and his senior advisor, his associate counsel, his regulatory affairs guru, his other senior advisor, and, of course, his wife, among lesser but numerous other U of Chicago alum dotting the new administration, including the presidential dogwalker, Michelle's Pilates instructor, and the clown who will make balloon animals at Sasha's next birthday party.

5. In lieu of a final item, the Beachwood Reporter is auctioning this space off to the highest bidder. Like the man said, this is effing valuable real estate. You don't just give it away. (Esta es propiedades inmobiliarias valiosas de mierda. Usted apenas no la da lejos.)


Posted on January 30, 2009

MUSIC - Britney's IUD.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - Climate Deniers' 4 Top Scare Tactics.
SPORTS - The McEnroes In Antarctica.

BOOKS - Foxconned.


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