Subway vs. McDonald's

Subway Tops McDonald's As Largest Restaurant Operation.

Compare and contrast.

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Subway: There's one near you.
McDonald's: Goes right through you

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McDonald's: Had company mascot named Speedee.
Subway: Company mascot now fits in Speedos.

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McDonald's: Fries don't degrade.
Subway: No fries. Chips.

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Subway: Food made by hand.
McDonald's: Food made by chemists.

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McDonald's: Has Quarter Pounders.
Subway: What, like it would kill them to put more than a quarter's worth of roast beef on their sandwiches?

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Subway: Named after an underground tunnel.
McDonald's: Sometimes eaten by homeless people living in underground tunnels.

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McDonald's: Once owned by the Krocs.
Subway: Cold cut combo is a crock.

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McDonald's: Supersize it!
Subway: More lettuce!

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McDonald's: Has its own university.
Subway: Staffed by university students.

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McDonald's: Had drive-in service during the 1950s.
Subway: Might have drive-thrus by the 2050s.

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Subway: Bakes bread daily.
McDonald's: Low-paid employees complain daily.

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Subway: Competes with Jimmy John's.
McDonald's: Sometimes cleans their johns.

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Subway: Named after a mode of public transportation
McDonalds: Tastes like it was prepared on the floor of a mode of public transportation

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Subway: Nine-grain bread contains more high fructose corn syrup than grain.
McDonalds: McNugget contains at least nine ingredients the average person can't spell.

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McDonald's: Periodic McRib offerings.
Subway: Periodic salmonella offerings.

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Subway: Jared Fogel goes on Subway-only diet, loses 245 pounds
McDonald's: Morgan Spurlock goes on McDonald's-only diet, almost dies

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Subway: Five-dollar footlong.
McDonald's: Five-dollar McNuggets made out of chicken feet.

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Subway: Creepy mascot was once a fatty.
McDonald's: Creepy mascot caught smoking fatties.

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Comments welcome.

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- Rick Kaempfer, Tim Willette, Scott Buckner, Nick Shreders, Steve Rhodes

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