Santa's Got The Swine

By Tom Latourette

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This year there'll be no Christmas, this Christmas will not come
There's a virus in the North Pole, it's called H1/N1

Oh, Santa's got the swine flu, let's call the CDC
They should close up his workshop, lockdown and quarantine

For Timmy there's no blessings, for Clarence there's no wings
This year there's one sick Santa, a pandemic he will bring

Oh, Santa's got the swine flu, don't sit upon his knee
Lock the doors and close the flue, he'll come down your chimney

Frosty has a fever, and Rudolph has a rash
The Misfit Toys are miserable, The Grinch has got some gas

Oh, Santa's got the swine flu, if he's on your roof above
This Christmas open all your toys with a latex glove

Comet can't stop coughing, Blitzen's still in bed
Vixen's popping vitamins and Donner's looking dead

Oh, Santa's giving swine flu to the naughty and the nice
Use some disinfectant, wash your hands not once but twice

The elves are feeling icky, Mrs. Claus is feeling sick
Santa's sneezing all the time, it's you he will infect

Oh, Santa's got the swine flu, worst case that we've seen
If Mommy kisses Santa Clause give her some Listerine

Oh, Santa's got the swine flu, when your snug inside your bed
You won't be getting sugarplums, H1/N1 he will spread

Oh, Santa's got the swine flu, if he's on your roof above
This Christmas open all your toys with a latex glove

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From The Beachwood Vault:
* The 12 Days of Beachwood Christmas (including The 12 Days of Cubness)

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