Chicago - Nov. 20, 2021
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
 
Beachwood PP&T
Our monthly PP&T archive.
Chicagoetry
Rhymes for the Times.
Beachwood Bookmarks
So You've Decided To Be Evil
Vintage Beer Signs
Easy Bar Tricks
Best of Craigslist
Wacky Packages
Chicagology
Taquitos Snack Food Reviews
How Products Are Made
Everyday Mysteries
Chicago Zombie
FAIL
Texts From Last Night
Fuck My Life
Awkward Family Photos
QuackWatch
Alcademics
Lamebook
Ultra Local Geography
Uncyclopedia
Best Pinball Machine Ever
Land of Sky Beer Waters
Calumet 412
Chicago Patterns
Vince Michael's Time Tells
Renegades of Funk Chicago
History vs. Hollywood

Renaming Lake Shore Drive

"A new proposed ordinance before the Chicago City Council would rename a stretch of Lake Shore Drive in honor of the man who is regarded by many historians as the first non-Indigenous settler of the city of Chicago," NBC Chicago reports.

"The ordinance, introduced by 17th Ward Ald. David Moore and co-sponsored by several other Chicago City Council members, would rename the iconic roadway after Jean Baptiste Point du Sable, who arrived in Chicago in 1790 and was likely the first permanent non-Native American settler of the area."

Hey, we love us some Jean Baptiste Point du Sable, but we have some other ideas.

* Fake Shore Drive. (And yes, we're aware.)

* Fake News Shore Drive.

* Guaranteed Rate Drive.

* Lake Michigan State Drive.

* Lake The Ohio State University Drive.

* Lake Maury Drive.

* Lake Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Drive.

* Ricki Lake Drive.

* Pauly Shore Drive.

* Shore Enuff Do You Good Drive.

* Chaka Khan Everybody Everybody Chaka Khan Drive.

* The Road to Rahm's (northbound only).

* Ken Griffin's Private Drive.

* This Drive Ruined By Human-Caused Climate Change Drive.

* Lake Shore The Drive 97.1.

* Lysergic Acid Diethylamide Drive. (Or would that make it Lake Shore Drive Drive?)

Or, if you're going to name the Drive after our man Jean, do it right:

* Jean Baptiste Point DuSable Was Here First Motherfuckers Drive

-

Comments welcome.



Permalink

Posted on October 22, 2019


MUSIC - Britney's IUD.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - Climate Deniers' 4 Top Scare Tactics.
SPORTS - The McEnroes In Antarctica.

BOOKS - Foxconned.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Don't Let Your Pet OD.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Email:

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter



Beachwood Radio!