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Exclusive! The Real Reasons Why The Corpse Flower Didn't Bloom

"Spike," the Chicago Botanic Garden's prized "corpse flower," left some fans disappointed Sunday when it failed to bloom and emit its trademark horrendous odor.

But after 12 years of nurturing and waiting for the big moment, why didn't the flower bloom?

The issue stems from Spike's lack of energy when the time came for it to bloom.

- NBC Chicago.

We know that's the popular version of what went on there. We know a lot of people like to believe that. But we know better.

Here are the real reasons why the corpse flower didn't bloom:

* Rahm's already used up all the stink in this town.

* Rauner budget cuts.

* Confused by new CPS bell times.

* Rahm-planted charter corpse designated to bloom instead.

* Ask SUPES, they got the contract.

* Blooming ordinance still stuck in the Rules Committee.

* Blooming fee on Daley's suspended credit card.

* Rahm says blooming is a last resort until all other avenues have been explored.

* Blooming stuck in court because flower union says the stink violates workplace safety rules.

* Michael Madigan's fault, somehow.

* Donald Trump paid for it not to bloom because it wasn't born in the United States.

* Because Illinois is already dead inside.

- Marty Gangler, Steve Rhodes

Comments welcome.

1. From Geoff Dankert:


Posted on August 31, 2015

MUSIC - The Weekend In Chicago Rock.
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