Chicago - Sep. 19, 2020
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
Beachwood PP&T
Our monthly PP&T archive.
Rhymes for the Times.
Beachwood Bookmarks
So You've Decided To Be Evil
Vintage Beer Signs
Easy Bar Tricks
Best of Craigslist
Wacky Packages
Taquitos Snack Food Reviews
How Products Are Made
Everyday Mysteries
Chicago Zombie
Texts From Last Night
Fuck My Life
Awkward Family Photos
Ultra Local Geography
Best Pinball Machine Ever
Land of Sky Beer Waters
Calumet 412
Chicago Patterns
Vince Michael's Time Tells
Renegades of Funk Chicago
History vs. Hollywood

Random Food Report: Unsatisfrying

1. Unsatisfrying.

"Just on the heels of kids' nutrition and obesity making headlines, Burger King is including Satisfries in kids meals," Ad Age reports.

"The meals will now include Satisfries automatically, along with apple slices, choice of cheeseburger, hamburger, four-piece chicken nuggets or six-piece chicken nuggets and a choice of drink."

The best part, though, is what Burger King executives are serving up.

"Burger King has historically been one of the largest fast-food kids marketers, said Chief Marketing Officer Eric Hirschhorn, noting that about 10% of Burger King's sales comes from kids meals. He also noted that adding Satisfries was 'the obvious choice' and that Burger King won't be directly marketing to kids for the new fries, but that the chain will have some merchandising and menu-board marketing in-store."

We wouldn't dream of marketing such an obvious choice to kids!

"Mr. Hirschhorn declined to confirm whether Satisfries were given permanent status, saying only that their addition to the kids menu was 'a step in the right direction.'"

One small step for Burger King, one giant leap backwards for the world's kids.

2. River West Jerk.

3. We Had Wood.

"Artists have tried all sorts of strategies to get us to think more critically about the systems and spaces that govern the modern world. Roxy Paine's approach was to carve them out of wood," Wired reports.

"For Apparatus, a recent exhibition at the Kavi Gupta gallery in Chicago, the New York-based artist created two striking dioramas - one of a space race-era control room, the other of a fast food restaurant-both made entirely of birch and maple.



4. Advice For Pet Food Same As That For Humans.

5. United Expanding Gluten-Free Options.

Will find space for them by removing more legroom.

6. Idaho Was Here.

"Spotlighting all-Idaho food items, the recent two-day Idaho Culinary Celebration in Chicago brought expanded market focus to its primary sponsors, USA Onions/Idaho-Eastern Oregon Onion Committee and the Idaho Potato Commission, as well as the Idaho State Department of Agriculture and a large group of Gem State agricultural companies and commodity groups," the Produce News reports.


7. FDA Pretends To Regulate.

"Packaged foods sold in the United States would display calorie counts more prominently and include the amount of added sugar under a proposal to significantly update nutritional labels for the first time in 20 years as health officials seek to reduce obesity and combat related diseases such as diabetes."

How unsatisfrying.

8. Waco Chicago.

"If you took everything that is distinctive or notorious about Chicago - its sports teams, its Midwestern accents and sometimes sarcastic attitude, its Mafia-themed criminal past and its unique, flavorful foods - and then somehow mixed it all together inside a restaurant, you'd have the heady essence of WiseGuys, a Chicago eatery located on Valley Mills Drive in Waco's Westview Village shopping center," the Waco Trib reports.

We presume he's being sarcastic.

9. Find Chicago Food All Over The Las Vegas Valley.

10. Mark's Chop Suey Closes After 38 Years.


Comments welcome.

Posted on March 4, 2014

MUSIC - 🚨 Michael McDonald Alert.
TV - Comic-Con 2020: Fans vs. Critics.
POLITICS - When Bigotry Masquerades As Choice.
SPORTS - Beachwood Sports Radio: The Bears' Bad Day.

BOOKS - Searching For The World's Largest Owl.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter

Beachwood Radio!