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Random Food Report: More Poop, Less Filling

1. More Poop Coming To Nation's Pork Supply.

"The U.S. Department of Agriculture is planning to introduce a new program for safety inspections at pork plants across the nation. How is the new program different? It offers more poop in your meat."


2. More Steak In Your Breakfast.

"McDonald's Corp. is introducing a new 'thick, juicy steak' for the morning crowd."

Now with more poop.


3. Keebler's Elves Are Building 'Tiny Doors' Across America.

First more poop, now more bullshit.


4. How Johnnie Walker Conquered The World.

"Johnnie Walker's parent company, the booze behemoth Diageo, is pushing into liquor stores from Chile to China."


5. Jim Beam is also on quite a run.


6. The Snaxis Of Evil.

"From Pepsi in Prague to Hershey bars in Hong Kong, American snack-makers enjoy a de facto oligopoly on global junk-food consumption."


7. KFC Japan Adds Deep Fried Soup.

"Why slurp your soup when you can eat it fried.

"With an apparent nod to the growing fried food state fair obsession in the U.S., KFC Japan announced it will be offering a deep-fried soup product this month.

"The chain will somehow cover its soup corn potage - a creamy soup snack - with a deep-fried crust, not unlike the kind concocted by fry masters at the State Fair of Texas who came up with Deep Fried Kool-Aid or Deep Fried Coke."


8. Craft Cubs.

Goose Island replacing Old Style at Wrigley instead of simply Budweiser would be the icing on the gentrification cake.


9. No Tipping, Please.

"There's quite a bit of grousing lately about tipping at restaurants. Are automatic gratuities gratuitous?

"Some restaurants are doing away with the practice and just hiking prices.

"Not Balsan or Bernard's Bar in the Waldorf Astoria Chicago. Those spots charge an 18 percent gratuity regardless of the number of diners."


10. Enough, already.


Comments welcome.


Posted on September 10, 2013

MUSIC - Britney's IUD.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - Locked Out And Loaded.

BOOKS - Foxconned.


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