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Random Food Report: Mr. Peanut vs. Long John Silver

1. Peanut Gallery.

"The owners of Mr. Peanut are changing his voice - but will it make him just a shell of his former self?"

Robert Downey Jr. out; Bill Hader in.


By the way, Mr. Peanut only began speaking two years ago:


From the Beachwood vault, July 11, 2006:

Mr. Peanut, one of America's most beloved commercial icons, is getting a bit of a touch-up. The Planters people, promoting their centennial, is giving the public a chance to vote on whether to add a bow tie, cuff links, or a pocket watch to the already stately Peanut's repertoire.

Or the public could vote to keep Peanut just the way he is.

Mr. Peanut was created by a 14-year-old boy in a contest in 1916, according to a report in today's New York Times.

"According to the company, Mr. Peanut's hat, monocle, cane and shoes symbolize fresh taste," Wikipedia reports. "The gloves do not symbolize anything; Mr. Peanut simply likes them."

Peanut even once ventured into the political arena, in a way.

"In 1974, the Canadian conceptual artist Vincent Trasov ran for the office of mayor of the city of Vancouver, British Columbia in the guise of Mr. Peanut," Wikipedia notes. "He wore a full peanut costume, with top hat, monocle, gloves, spats and cane and did nothing but tap-dance at the all-candidates meetings. He garnered less than four percent of the vote."

Godspeed, Mr. Peanut. If only the Hostess Pie Magician was shown as much love.



But Planters is missing the boat with Hader; Mr. Peanut's voice should be that of Carter Pewterschmidt.




2. So Bad It's Bad.

"Calories: 1,320. Trans fats: 33 grams. Sodium: 3,700 milligrams. All that pushed Long John Silver's 'Big Catch' limited-time only fish platter to win the 'Worst Restaurant Meal in America' distinction Tuesday by a U.S. nutrition advocacy group," Reuters reports.

"The artery-clogging trans fat tally alone is 'astonishing' in the limited-time only dish of fried fish, cornmeal hush puppies and onion rings, according to the Center for Science in the Public Interest. The American Heart Association's limit is less than 2 grams daily and trans fat has been banned by some cities and states and abandoned by many U.S. food makers."


And here it is, "almost a full half-pound of our tender, flaky wildcaught, North Atlantic Haddock, cooked to perfection in our signature batter. Get a basket with choice of side and Hushpuppies."


3. Cracked.

"A federal judge in Chicago has temporarily blocked Cracker Barrel Old Country Store from selling branded meats and other food items in grocery stores," the Tennessean reports.

"Cracker Barrel was seeking to broaden its portfolio of packaged food items - mainly hams and other meats - and start selling them through supermarkets, club stores and other retailers. Grocery sales are part of Cracker Barrel's strategy to expand its brand beyond its 600-plus restaurants and stores. The chain has signed a licensing agreement with John Morrell & Co. for ham, bacon and other meats.

"But food giant Kraft Foods is suing to block the move, saying it would infringe on Kraft's trademarked Cracker Barrel brand cheese and confuse consumers."


Yes, we see what they mean.


"It's like eatin' at a garage sale."


4. Trifecta.

"The owner of several Dunkin' Donuts and Baskin-Robbins isn't chicken about bringing a new chain to town," the Sun-Times reports.

"Amyn Ali recently signed a deal with Georgia-based Wing Zone to open 14 Chicago-area locations by 2020."


Isn't this the same chicken who used to sell car insurance? Paging the federal judiciary!


5. Cosi's Posies.

"Cosi has rarely turned a profit since its 2002 initial public offering," the Tribune reports.


The Poor Man's Panera.


Yeah, this dude resigned and went to Church's Chicken.


6. Update from the Beachwood Bun Bureau.


Comments welcome.


Posted on July 3, 2013

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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