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QT: The Several-Party System


News Headline: "Inauguration Fever: The best places to party in Washington."
Jobs are low.
Poverty is high.
The war continues.
We've got to do something. . . .
Toga!

···

News Headline: "'Doomsday asteroid' Apophis much bigger than first thought."
News Headline: "Impact threat from asteroid Apophis in 2036 now ruled out."
Unless the asteroid that is much bigger than we first thought is on a slightly different course than we now think.

···

A man in Boone, N.C., regarding a large oak tree that narrowly missed him when it was pushed into his house by a windstorm:
"God was watching over us."
The man was right.
When God started that windstorm, He must have seen quite a show.

···

News Item: ". . . or some equivalent strategy will simply take the debt ceiling off the table. . . ."
Katherine Rylaarsdam, a Baltimore reader, suggests we had better make for the door if the ceiling is already on the table.

···

News Headline: "Gunman storms California high school."
News Headline: "Alabama woman sentenced in children's shootings."
Eight days until National Gun Appreciation Day. . . .

···

News Headline: "McDonald's to give away books with Happy Meals in Britain."
News Headline: "Wendy's employees made part-time; franchise avoids paying for health insurance."
QT is feeling peckish.
Where to get a fast burger?
Decisions, decisions. . . .

···

News Headline: "Lance Armstrong to ask Oprah for absolution, forgiveness."
Or maybe a free Chevrolet?

···

Rush Limbaugh contemplating his life:
"I'm not one that likes fame."
A cry for help.
The least we can do is ignore him completely.

···

QT Modern Corporate Gibberish of the Week:
Aliaxis has acquired Vinilit.

···

News Headline: "Feds miss 39 percent of illegals crossing border."
Give credit to Homeland Security, which has found a way to compute the percentage of what it doesn't notice.

···

The Democratic People's Republic of Korea wants you to know that Kim Jong Un's The Great Comrade Kim Il Sung Is the Eternal Leader of Our Party and People is now out in paperback in the Czech Republic.

···

Newth Headline: "Pierthing: Magnetic tongue thtudth may be very dangerouth."
Turnth out you can thwallow them.
Then what happenth ith not pretty.
Tho now you have fair warning.

···

News Headline: "Ted Nugent: Gun owners are the next Rosa Parks, will sit down on 'front seat of the bus.' "
Has it been 274 days since Nugent promised he would "either be dead or in jail by this time next year" if voters re-elected President Obama?
Not that anyone is counting.

···

From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ Fifty-five percent of the London Underground is above ground.
+ John F. Kennedy wore a size 10D shoe.

···

Beware the ides of National Soup Month.

···

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
William Ferry, a Lafayette, La., reader, regarding QT's mention that it is "lackadaisical," not "laxadaisical," writes:
"So it's not laxity in attention to detail, but a lack of attention to detail?"
The word comes from "lackaday," which comes from "alack the day," or something like that, as QT didn't take notes and, you know, whatever.
It isn't "just desserts," by the way, but "just deserts."


Write to QT at qt@beachwoodreporter.com
Visit QT at facebook.com/zaynsmithqt
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.



Permalink

Posted on January 11, 2013


MUSIC - College Radio, Eh?
TV - John King's Dog Whistle.
POLITICS - CTU Strike Notebook.
SPORTS - Beachwood Sports Radio: Run, Mitch, Run.

BOOKS - What We Do To Whistleblowers.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Recall! Chicago's Favorite Gyros Slices.


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