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QT: No Business Like Show Business


News Headline: "House Speaker Boehner says 'it's time to act' on federal deficit."
News Headline: "U.S. deficit shrinking at fastest pace since WWII."
Boehner knows that.
As he said, he was only acting.

···

We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work:
A giant sequoia in Portland, Ore., will be cut down to make way for a North Portland Greenway Project bicycle path.

···

News Headline: "South Carolina 'guns in bars' bill moving forward."
A call was placed.
"South Carolina Secretary of State."
Visitor information, please.
"We can give you that."
Just a question. Is the public allowed to bring guns into the state capitol building?
"No."
Thank you.
"You're welcome."
But the legislation is surely moving forward.

···

News Headline: "Convergent evolution: Hyenas offer clues to human past."
On so many levels.

···

News Item: "A shoeshine man has given a Pittsburgh children's hospital a total of more than $200,000 in tips he's collected over the last 30 years. . . ."
That's the 47 percent for you.

···

News Headline: "One in three fish sold at restaurants and grocery stores is mislabeled."
C.A., a Chicago reader, says officials have scheduled a herring.

···

QT Trickle-On Economics Update:
Food banks are reporting record demand as Ferrari reports record sales.

···

News Headline: "Rush Limbaugh: For the first time I'm ashamed of my country."
Ashamed of our country?
Who has he been palling around with?
And have we seen his birth certificate?

···

News Headline: "Woman turns 102, quits 82-year smoking habit."
She was right to quit.
Those things will kill you.

···

QT News You Can Use:
Steven Spielberg's yacht is available for rent at $1.3 million a week.

···

News Headline: "Colorado lawmaker apologizes for rape comments."
News Headline: "Prince Philip cracks a Filipino joke."
Always reassuring that there remain a few constants in this bustling age.

···

From Poor QT's Almanack:
On this day in history 194 years ago Spain ceded Florida to the United States, showing again that Spain could never resist a good practical joke.

···

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
P.S., a Montreal reader, regarding QT's quoting the headline "Kim Kardashian: If I was a man I'd want to have sex with myself," writes:
"Of course, Kim should have said, 'If I were a man. . . . '"
It isn't often we see Kim Kardashian and the subjunctive mood mentioned in the same sentence.
Or as the Boston cab driver told the tourist who asked where was the best place in town to get scrod:
"Mister, I've been asked that question a hundred times. But this is the first time in the pluperfect subjunctive."
Stop QT if you've heard that one.


QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. QT welcomes your comments. For more QT, visit the QT archives. QT is also on Facebook.



Permalink

Posted on February 22, 2013


MUSIC - College Radio, Eh?
TV - John King's Dog Whistle.
POLITICS - CTU Strike Notebook.
SPORTS - Beachwood Sports Radio: Run, Mitch, Run.

BOOKS - What We Do To Whistleblowers.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Recall! Chicago's Favorite Gyros Slices.


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