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QT: Different Desecrations For Different Folks


News Headline: "Woman hangs flag upside down to protest Obama victory."
News Headline: "Indonesian Muslim protestors burn U.S. flag."
The two stories seemed to go together, for some reason.

···

News Headline: "Obama presents fiscal plan, McConnell bursts into laughter."
A missed chance.
If President Obama had come back with a spit-take, the bit would have been complete.

···

News Headline: "The national debt crisis: Can America survive?"
News Headline: "U.S. budget deficit crisis ahead."
+ The national debt as percent of GDP is lower than it was in 1946.
+ The annual deficit has fallen faster since 2009 than in any four-year period since World War II.
Add crises to the list of things that aren't what they used to be.

···

Comcast's 2012 "Holiday Films" list includes Die Hard with a Vengeance and Lethal Weapon.
Ho, Ho, Ho!

···

News Headline: "Wis. Gov. Scott Walker confident he's clear in probe."
News Headline: "Judge says investigation involving Walker still open."
News Headline: "Another Walker aide pleads guilty."
If this ends badly for the governor, rest assured, you won't see any unseemly schadenfreude from QT.
Used it all up last month.

···

News Headline: "China's Xi a regular guy."
Paul Shubin, a Montreal reader, reminds us that "Xi" is pronounced "She," as long as we are on the subject of regular guys.

···

News Headline: "China's Xi enjoys honeymoon with investors."
This is becoming complicated.

···

Beverly Feldt, a Homewood reader, wants to know when did a television show became a "television event," and when can we have television shows back?
And when did a rerun become an "encore presentation," and when can we have reruns back?
And. . . .

···

News Headline: "Pentagon plans massive expansion of spy network."
News Headline: "Pentagon to send hundreds of additional spies overseas."
News Headline: "Agency gets $100 million to begin program."
News Headline: "Pentagon spy service to rival CIA."
Except in matters of secrecy, evidently.

···

News Item: ". . . a range of new disorders, including some that describe thought patterns and behaviors that have long been considered mere quirks or examples of eccentric behavior. . . hoarding disorder. . . olfactory reference syndrome. . . ."
When you see the phrase "new disorders" in a news story, replace it with "new ways to drum up a little therapy business."
You will have a better sense of the story.

···

News Item: Pregnant woman dressed only in a bra and panties runs through hotel in Port St. Lucie, Fla., setting off fire alarms.
Witnesses said the woman was dressed only in a bra and panties because she was trying to give police the slip.

···

News Headline: "Parent fury as school Nativity play is replaced by play about crime caper."
The school said it has nothing against Christmas.
It just wanted to try something different.
An idea: Why not combine the two plays and satisfy everyone?
Nice manger you have there. . . . Hate to see anything happen to it. . . .
Or maybe not.

···

News Headline: "Yule be back in recession by Christmas, experts warn Britain."
Ho, Ho, Ho!

···

From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ Earth lost 4.57 million square miles of Arctic ice cover from March to September.
+ The area of the United States is 3.79 million square miles.

···

Today's Birthdays: Illinois, 194; Alka-Seltzer, 81.

···

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Item: ". . . Christmas songs are full of outdated words like. . . 'bough,' 'yore,' 'merry'. . . ."
C'mon. Times change. How many words do you need to know to change a status or send a tweet?
The reindeer's name is Donder, by the way, not Donner.


Write to QT at qt@beachwoodreporter.com
Visit QT at facebook.com/zaynsmithqt
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.



Permalink

Posted on December 3, 2012


MUSIC - 25 Years Of Defiant Chicago Roots.
TV - The Real Climate Crisis Hypocrites.
POLITICS - How It's Playing In Russia.
SPORTS - Beachwood Sports Radio: Ross's Job To Lose.

BOOKS - What We Do To Whistleblowers.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Doomsday Chicago 2019.


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