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QT: Chicagoans Ask: Where's Mayan?


No. Sorry.
The world was supposed to end as we slept at 11:11 (GMT).
Still here.
Something not many people know:
The Mayan civilization finally collapsed when sacrifices to the Mayan rain god Chaac were no longer allowed in public schools.

···

News Headline: "How to think about interviewing children in traumatic situations like Newtown shooting."
Note to fellow reporters:
This is easy.
Don't give it a second thought.
And then don't do it.
Ever.

···

News Item: ". . . Christmas-tree-related injuries. . . hurt by twinkling fairy lights. . . ."
Ho, Ho, Ho!

···

QT Trickle-On Economics Update:
Pfizer, whose CEO's pay increased more than 300 percent in the last year, announced it is laying off 20 percent of its sales workers to cut costs.

···

QT News You Can Use:
+ The Rapture Index, which measures the progression of end-time prophecy according to world events, has risen to a record high of 187.
+ The number of Google hits for "tap-dancing militant Islamic fundamentalists" has surged to a record 2,380.
Forget the Mayans.
Something is up.

···

QT News Presented Without Comment:
The Wales national coal museum has installed solar panels to save on energy.

···

QT Early Warning System:
Seventeen percent of you will embarrass yourselves at a Christmas office party this year, according to a study.
What?
The warning wasn't early enough?
Sorry.

···

News Headline: "Pope blesses faithful with first tweet."
As you may recall, Pope Benedict XVI first tweeted a week ago.
He tweeted seven times.
Then he abruptly stopped tweeting.
Then came three more tweets two days ago.
And we wait again.
We meanwhile saw 43 tweets from Justin Bieber in the same week.
So maybe the pope could borrow a few to keep up the numbers:
+ "i promise you what i got planned for 2013 u r not expecting. :)"
+ "i hope everyone is having a nice day."
Well. . . .
+ "this is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. --John 15:12"
Hey. The kid seems to be getting it.

···

News Headline: "Unbelief now the world's third largest 'religion.'"
The pope really needs to step up the tweeting.
Justin Bieber can do only so much.

···

News Item: Scientists in 2012 discover tulips with digestive systems, cannibal lemurs, worms with no mouths, fish with penises in their heads, snakes with tentacles and meat-eating sponges.
As the Intelligent Designer walks slowly away, whistling to himself.

···

News Headline: "Does bowl season even matter?"
And how could it not matter when East Carolina meets the University of Louisiana at Lafayette in the R+L Carriers Inc. New Orleans Bowl?

···

From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ Rudolph's red nose could have been caused by any of 20 parasites that inhabit reindeer respiratory systems.
+ The most dangerous occupation in Sweden is herding reindeer.
Ho, Ho, Ho!

···

News Headline: "Finding joy in Christmas memories."
You can start by viewing your childhood home in an Internet snow globe as an automatic donation, no cost to you, is made to the Coalition for the Homeless at this place here.
Ho, Ho, Ho!

···

Today's Birthdays: Sherman's March to the Sea, 148; It's a Wonderful Life, 66.

···

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
K.R., a Baltimore reader, writes:
"A Nation book review contains the following: 'Yet however ginger its initial embrace of politics, it quickly came to realize the possibilities. . . ." The word is 'gingerly.'"
A silly mistake, especially this time of year.
The writer could have asked any gingerbread man.
Ho, Ho, Ho!


Write to QT at qt@beachwoodreporter.com
Visit QT at facebook.com/zaynsmithqt
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.



Permalink

Posted on December 21, 2012


MUSIC - 25 Years Of Defiant Chicago Roots.
TV - The Real Climate Crisis Hypocrites.
POLITICS - How It's Playing In Russia.
SPORTS - Beachwood Sports Radio: Ross's Job To Lose.

BOOKS - What We Do To Whistleblowers.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Doomsday Chicago 2019.


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