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QT: Abe 2.0


News Headline: "Lies, damned lies and Mitt Romney's tax plan."
News Headline: "Romney's 'Etch A Sketch' abortion positions."
News Headline: "Is Romney a habitual liar?"
These attacks are going too far.
The Republican Party is only running a few tests of its new Abe 2.0 software.
The design specs call for fooling some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time.
And enough of the people enough of the time.

···

News Headline: "Astronomers discover planet made out of diamond."
If there were an Intelligent Designer, the planet would have a ring.

···

News Headline: "Madonna endorses Obama."
News Headline: "Lindsay Lohan endorses Romney."
And how many of us have given careful thought to third-party alternatives?

···

News Headline: "American Airlines to modify Boeing 767 seats to keep them from coming loose."
Scott Steurer, a Rockton, Ill., reader, writes:
"Does that mean there will no longer be Shakes on a Plane?"
And G.S., a Chicago reader, wants to know if Amtrak dining cars offer Steaks on a Train.
And. . . .

···

QT End of the World and Other News Update:
The third asteroid to pass between Earth and the moon in a week, Asteroid 2012 TM79, wasn't discovered until after it had passed.
So at least it didn't worry us as it approached.

···

News Headline: "Former bank teller arrested after stealing more than $100,000."
The teller is about to learn a hard lesson.
Steal $100,000 at a bank and it means prison.
Steal $100,000,000 and it means a bonus and stock options.

···

QT Modern Corporate Gibberish of the Week:
Citrix has acquired Podio.

···

Has it been 1,272 days since Sean Hannity said he would undergo waterboarding to prove it isn't torture?

···

News Headline: "al-Qaeda leader Zawahiri urges more protests over anti-Islam film."
Is it a measure of progress that our religious zealots are having to ask for more outrage?
There are currently 1,510 hits for "tap-dancing militant Islamic fundamentalists," for those keeping track.

···

Former President Jimmy Carter speaking on Meet the Press against Republican calls for increases in defense spending:
"We need an adequate defense, but every arms dollar we spend above adequacy has a long-term weakening effect upon the nation and its security."
Then again, what do you expect from a--
No. Wait.
Those are the words of President Eisenhower.
Sorry.

···

News Item: "As few as 10 years from now, quality higher education will be largely free--unless, of course, nothing much has changed."
Good to have this sorted out.

···

QT has found that it will arrive at Google on the Internet if it types gooogle. com, ggoogle.com, or googlee.com.
But not googlle.com.
And QT's spell-checker will allow Google but not Goo-Goo-Googly Eyes.
QT will go back to work now.

···

News Headline: "Homeless woman turns in found cash."
For those keeping track of the shiftless, conniving 47 percent.

···

News Item: Residents of DeLand , Fla., await word from Guinness World Records on whether they set a record for number of people dancing the twist.
Let's hope Guinness comes through, or those 3,000 people dancing the twist in the middle of a street will look foolish.

···

From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ There is an HIV-positive Muppet named Kami.
+ Mitt Romney says an emergency room is good enough for her.

···

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
Catherine Jones, a Halifax, Nova Scotia, reader, writes:
"I just read an article that talked about an argument 'between' three people. Nu-uh. If it concerns two, it is 'between.' If more than two, it is 'among.' "
And this is a point we should share with each other if there are two of us and with one another if there are more than two.
The person you want to avoid at a poker table, by the way, is a card sharp, not a card shark.


Write to QT at qt@beachwoodreporter.com
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.



Permalink

Posted on October 15, 2012


MUSIC - College Radio, Eh?
TV - The Sublime Hong Kong Phooey.
POLITICS - CTU Strike Notebook.
SPORTS - Official Power Tools Of MiLB.

BOOKS - Trump Trade Guy's Fake Expert.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Renaming Lake Shore Drive.


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