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Our Summer Staycation

Making the best of it.

* Law & Disorder. The Blago trial will apparently run all summer. You may not get a seat in the courtroom, but hang out in the cafeteria and try to influence lunching jurors.

* Rough Justice. Better than Law & Order. Pick a murder trial; better - blog it.

* Gang Wars. Take a lawn chair to K Town and watch the action, just like the elite did during the Civil War. Make sure you wear the right colors for the side of the street you choose.

* Grant Park Softball Leagues. See those "fundamentals" that you always hear about but can't see at Wrigley or The Cell.

* Play Flash Mob. Terrorize tourists on North Michigan Avenue by pretending to be a flash mob. Watch their relief when they realize your gun is a lighter.

* Ask A Genius. Visit the Apple Store's Genius Bar and ask brain teasers such as the real value of pi and who created the universe. Remember, though, you need an appointment.

* Play Grand Theft iPhone. Hang out at the Taste of Chicago with a loosely secured smartphone and wait for roving bands of wilding youth to try to steal it.

* Dibs! Not just for winter anymore. Put together a decorative arrangement of your best plastic crates, brooms, and lawn furniture on the street. Entries will be judged. The most creative design wins a parking space in Rahm Emanuel's garage.

* Ozzie Guillen Bingo. Each box is a variation of "If the White Sox want to fire me, that's their decision." You will need a fresh card for every week of the summer.

* The Groupon Grift. See how many businesses you and your pals can decimate over the summer by exploiting poorly conceived deals.

* Play in Chicago's wading pools. The next time we have a good rainstorm, wait for the refuse to back up the sewer grates, put on your swimwear, and step off the curb at any city corner. Splash fight!

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- Jennifer Drackley, Steve Rhodes

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Comments welcome.




Permalink

Posted on June 23, 2011


MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Don't Let Your Pet OD.


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