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On the Juice: Day 6Some people start the New Year off with a few poxy resolutions scribbled down somewhere only to be forgotten by February. Me? I'm going on a two-week juice fast. Day 6: Dinner-free dinner party Tonight I went to a dinner party. I talked, shared ideas, and had a wonderful time. But my wonderful time was drastically different from the wonderful time had by everyone else, because everyone else was eating. Everyone else was able to share a unique experience of consuming food expertly prepared for them by our hostess. They were able comment on that food in a way that I simply wasn't. Naturally, I felt compelled to try. I remarked sincerely on how terrific everything looked and smelled, but it was about as useful as a nun trying to talk dirty. You may not have noticed this before, but dinner parties are all about trust and intimacy. To consume food, to put it in your mouth and to swallow it is a fundamentally intimate act. If you've sworn off that particular act, there's no way you can possibly understand it. I've found myself receding from social activities this week, and it has nothing to do with the temptation of eating or concerns about my energy level. It has more to do with having placed myself outside that social unit. I'm not eating. I'm not drinking alcohol. I can sit happily and sip my veggie melange and feel perfectly satisfied, but the nature of my interaction with other people is fundamentally different. I feel like a dropped stitch; I'm still there, still a factor in the discussion, but notable more for what I'm not contributing than what I am. I know people will feel compelled to ask me about the fast; it's just too big to avoid and I don't mind talking about it. But it sets up an oppositional dynamic at exactly those times I would usually feel most strongly a part of the group. It's a sort of loneliness I didn't even know existed. Day 6 Hunger Level: I'm full more often than I'm empty. Day 6 Energy Level: Today felt just like any other Saturday. I started off a bit sluggish, but by mid-morning I was alive and kicking. Day 6 Physical Condition: I'm starting to get a more objective sense of what symptoms are related to the fast and what are just a part of my everyday life. Having said that, I'm noticing that I feel a chill more frequently than usual. On the upside, my headache, sinus congestion and runny nose are gone. The skin of my lips and hands feels drier than usual, but I'm wondering if that has more to do with constantly handling and drinking minute plant fibers than actual dehydration. Oh, and my eyelids feel a lot better. Day 6 Mental State: The way I think has been bound up in the way I feel physically, so today was a really good day. I felt happy; I felt like myself. I'm still apprehensive that this is a one-day respite from another round of turmoil. More importantly, I find myself fighting the urge to relax and enjoy myself, just in case that next big physical shock is waiting around the corner. Day 6 Juices: Total amount: approx. 53 oz. Previously: Posted on January 6, 2007 |
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