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On The Juice: Day 4

Some people start the New Year off with a few poxy resolutions scribbled down somewhere only to be forgotten by February. Me? I'm going on a two-week juice fast.

Day 4: Brush with destiny
My work schedule on Thursday requires that I be out of the house most of the day, away from my cats, away from my familiar things, and - of the greatest import to this feature - far away from Dave's juicer. Another day, another test. Had I been graded on my performance, I'm thinking I would've scraped by with an underachieving C. I left home with enough liquefied fruits and veggies to get me through the morning, figuring it would be easy enough to find unadulterated, hopefully organic juice in downtown Chicago. It isn't. So the first lesson of the day is, no matter how heavy it may get, always pack more juice than you think you'll need.

Well, kids, I have another lesson and it comes with my first juice-fast confession. There are different levels of fasting purity, you see. Some people allow for the use of soy milk or protein supplements; some don't allow anything non-organic or enhanced with sweeteners. Up to this point, I've tried to stay near the more conservative end of the spectrum. I'm not saying I'll be able to maintain this, but up to now I've been supplement-free and organic whenever possible. My one big cheat, the one thing not technically sanctioned by the faster's code of ethics, is toothpaste. Wonderfully fake, chemically minty, laced with fluoride and whitening agents, toothpaste is the magical substance that makes a dirty mouth clean. I'm not saying I've deep-throated a tube of it or anything, but if the gates of fasting heaven are closed to those who brush, I'll roasting in hell with my plaque-free smile.

This brings me to the crux of the lesson. If you're going out for the day, drinking nothing but juice and water, still in the throes of corporeal detoxification, for the love of all that's good in this world, please pack your brush and paste. I'm serious. You may think the water will wash everything away. It won't. You'll be left with a thick coating of plant matter along your gum line, a noxious taste at the back of your throat, and the eerie sensation that your teeth are flipping you off. Also? Your tongue will look like Jabba the Hut. Trust me on this one.

Day 4 Hunger Level: I'm starting to notice that the old hunger triggers don't function like they used to. If I smell something - fresh-brewed coffee or buttered popcorn, for example - it not longer makes my mouth water or my stomach growl. It just smells nice. Same thing holds for looking at foods; they may be very appetizing to my eyes, but they do nothing for the old tummy. This is not to say that the hunger pangs have entirely dissipated. They're still there, although much more quiet. I still think about eating quite a bit, but somehow now it seems just as easy and natural to grab a glass of juice.

Day 4 Energy Level: I was up quite late last night and had to start the day early. About mid-way through the morning, I experienced the sensation of pure tiredness. It wasn't that I felt run-down or like I wanted to take a nap. I still had enough energy to get through my day, but I was unquestionably aware that my body needed more rest. It was a simple sensation that I was able to acknowledge and move on.

Day 4 Physical Condition: the detox is definitely kicking into high gear. My eyelids are still sore, and I have a strong sinus headache from all of the junk that's creaking out of there. I'm also noticing some limitations on my stamina and muscle strength. Nothing too serious, but certainly a change from the norm.

Day 4 Mental State: Eh. Still crazy.

Day 4 Juices:
#1: Purchased Odwalla Mo' Beta Drink (full bottle)
#2: Kale, Parsley, Beet, Red Pepper, Apple, Orange
#3: Purchased Tropicana Pulp-Free Orange Juice (half bottle)
#4: Purchased Odwalla Superfood Drink (full bottle)
#5: Celery, Parsley, Carrot

Total amount: 61 oz.

* On The Juice: Day 1. If you can't beet it, juice it.
* On The Juice: Day 2. Fire in the glory hole!
* On The Juice: Day 3. Sipping point.


Posted on January 4, 2007

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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