O Christmas Pole

On the 9th day of Christmas, the Beachwood gave to me
a practical alternative to a Christmas tree

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O Christmas Pole, O Christmas Pole
This year I'll take no chances
O Christmas Pole, O Christmas Pole
You need no leaves or branches

$2.99 at Ace Hardware
A metal stick just standing there

O Christmas Pole, O Christmas Pole
You're so convenient!

O Christmas Pole, O Christmas Pole
You stand there at attention
O Christmas Pole, O Christmas Pole
Give cheer without pretension

No ornaments to hang about
No lights to plug, but then go out

O Christmas Pole, O Christmas Pole
Free of maintenance

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Previously in The 12 Days of Beachwood Christmas, brought to you by our very own Tom Latourette:

- Day 1: Have a Dysfunctional Family Christmas
- Day 2: Little George Bush
- Day 3: Hillary, Hillary
- Day 4: O Holy Grill
- Day 5: Christmas Lingerie
- Day 6: I've Got Erectile Dysfunction This Christmas
- Day 7: 1908
- Day 8: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas At El Taco Bandito