Indisputably Torture

"This debate is occurring because of the Supreme Court's ruling that said that we must conduct ourselves under the Common Article III of the Geneva Convention. And that Common Article III says that there will be no outrages upon human dignity. It's very vague. What does that mean, 'outrages upon human dignity'? That's a statement that is wide open to interpretation. And what I'm proposing is that there be clarity in the law so that our professionals will have no doubt that that which they are doing is legal."

- President George W. Bush, September 15, 2006

Some clarity:

1. A looped recording of the chorus . . . "Oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, Hey Mickey!"
2. A Paulie Shore film festival.
3. An entire afternoon shopping at Old Navy with an indecisive spouse.
4. Attending a wedding alone . . . when you only know the bride or groom.
5. Stuck in an elevator with Ann Coulter.
6. A heart-to-heart 3 a.m. conversation with a weepy drunk . . . when you're sober.
7. Listening to an entire baseball game called by Ed Farmer & Chris Singleton.
8. Sitting at the same restaurant table as a toddler who didn't take a nap.
9. Riding the train with nothing to read but RedEye.
10. Watching the President of the United States try to re-define torture.