I'm Santa Claus

On the 11th day of Christmas, Santa gave to me
rap rock like Kid Rock and Run-DMC

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Where I come from, there is lots of snow
With my reindeer fast, look at my sleigh go
My fashion sense uses red velour
And my friends are just a bunch of elves

I'm making toys here in the North Pole
If you're bad here's a lump of coal
Mrs. Claus makes my apple gold
Candy cane in my pocket

I'm Santa Claus
Bringing cheer to the girls and boys
Be good 'cause I'm Santa Clause

I'm Santa Claus
Got myself a big bag of toys
Be good 'cause I'm Santa Claus

Look at all those little kids
Nestled snug inside their beds
All their stockings hung with care
Sugar plums dancing in their heads

I make a list who's bad or good
You know I see most everything
Take my picture at the mall
You gotta do the Santa thing

I'm Santa Claus
On Christmas Eve my sleigh will see
Be good 'cause I'm Santa Claus

I'm Santa Claus
Puttin' presents under your tree
Be good 'cause I'm Santa Clause

The truth is
I don't stand a chance
You kids leave me all this food
And I just can't resist
No I can't I'm eating cookies, drinking milk
Chocolate cookies are tasting great
I can't squeeze down your chimney
Santa needs to lose some weight

I'm Santa Claus
South Beach Diet it ain't for me
Be good 'cause I'm Santa Claus

I'm Santa Claus
I eat every cookie I see
Be good 'cause I'm Santa Claus

I'm Santa Claus
Ho-ho-ho!

I'm Santa Claus
I'm a bad mother- . . . shut your . . . !

I'm Santa Claus
Be good 'cause I'm Santa Claus

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Previously in The 12 Days of Beachwood Christmas, brought to you by our very own Tom Latourette:

- Day 1: Have a Dysfunctional Family Christmas
- Day 2: Little George Bush
- Day 3: Hillary, Hillary
- Day 4: O Holy Grill
- Day 5: Christmas Lingerie
- Day 6: I've Got Erectile Dysfunction This Christmas
- Day 7: 1908
- Day 8: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas At El Taco Bandito
- Day 9: O Christmas Pole
- Day 10: O Sumenberger