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QT: Hurricanes Are People, Too


News Headline: "Hurricane Sandy stalls presidential campaign."
News Headline: "Hurricane Sandy silences Wall Street."
News Headline: "Hurricane Sandy takes down Gawker, Buzzfeed, HuffPo."
Even a hurricane can have an upside.

···

QT Early Warning System:
One in four American voters will cast votes next week on machines that leave no paper trail for recounts.

···

News Headline: "Lindsay Lohan tweets about hurricane, confused by 'panic.' "
For those keeping a list of the things that confuse Lindsay Lohan.

···

T.S., an Arlington Heights reader, regarding QT's wondering, if a group of larks is an exaltation of larks, what a group of politicians should be called, writes:
"A boondoggle of politicians."
Matt Sobczyk, a Highland Park reader, writes:
"A purchase of politicians."
Or. . . .

···

News Headline: "Face-slapping, a Thai beauty treatment, supposed to shrink pores, combat wrinkles."
Our political candidates have done so much hard work these past months.
Don't they deserve a reward?
Why not a stay at a Thai spa?
And maybe we could watch.

···

News Headline: "Quantum entanglement shows reality can't be local."
Tell us something we don't know.

···

G.D., a Rio Rancho, N.M., reader, writes:
"If corporations are people, then people should be corporations, and I can depreciate my auto, my house, my tools, my washing machine. . . ."
Wait. How many millions of dollars have you secretly put into, say, efforts to confuse and manipulate the voter turnout?
None?
And you call yourself a person.

···

News Headline: "Australian radio host forced to undergo 'factual accuracy training' over global warming remarks."
George Orwell was an imaginative man.
But he missed a few.

···

Modern Education + the Criminal Mind =
A shoplifter at a pet store in Lakewood, Colo., fooled store owners by slipping the venomous lizard he stole under his shirt, police said.

···

News Headline: "Misleading Romney ad on Jeeps draws Obama retort."
Poor Mitt Romney.
First he is attacked for changing positions on every major issue.
Now he is attacked for standing firm.
He started with dishonest ads. He is staying with dishonest ads.
It is a matter of integrity.
Maybe President Obama doesn't understand that.

···

News Headline: "Exercise can make you smarter, study says."
News Headline: "Drinking alcohol could make you smarter, researcher says."
Decisions, decisions.

···

News Headline: "The growing power of Rush Limbaugh's loyal legion of listeners."
News Headline: "2,000 sheep led through streets of Spain's capital."
The two stories seemed to go together, for some reason.

···

QT Modern Corporate Gibberish of the Week:
Acino has merged with Mepha.

···

News Item: "Scores of Twitter users have flooded the social networking site announcing their plans to go on looting sprees once Hurricane Sandy makes landfall. . . ."
It takes a village.

···

News Headline: "Hurricane Sandy disrupts climate change vigil in Boston."
Another in a series of public service reminders that outbreaks of irony can occur anywhere, at any time, without warning.

···

From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ Fifteen thousand male witches were put to death in Europe between 1450 and 1750.
+ Happy Halloween!

···

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
Rich Rzadzki, a Chicago reader, writes:
"I Just heard President Obama tell folks in the areas affected by Hurricane Sandy that emergency personnel would be available '24/7 around the clock.' Good to know to know."
More than that.
Obama said in full: "24/7 around the clock, non-stop."
Which is good to know to know, to know.
All this writing has made QT hungry.
It wishes Taco Bell still offered its "grilled carne asada steak tacos."
Nothing hits the spot like a grilled grilled steak steak taco.


Write to QT at qt@beachwoodreporter.com
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.



Permalink

Posted on October 31, 2012


MUSIC - College Radio, Eh?
TV - John King's Dog Whistle.
POLITICS - CTU Strike Notebook.
SPORTS - Beachwood Sports Radio: Run, Mitch, Run.

BOOKS - What We Do To Whistleblowers.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Recall! Chicago's Favorite Gyros Slices.


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