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Home for the Holidays: Day 1

So I'm actually on the plane, on the tarmac. Unfortunately, it's not the plane I am supposed to be on. A combination of me being up too late last night, it being freezing in my place this morning, having a warm dog snuggled up to me, and then being on the slowest Blue Line train ever made me five minutes too late to make a flight with checked baggage. So I stood in line for eight years, only to find out the next three flights to Baltimore, the nearest big airport, were overbooked. Then, a stroke of genius. What about Harrisburg? Could they get me there? It's only about twenty minutes from my the ol' homestead. The airline guy looked doubtful.

"I dunno, miss. Somethin' like that'll usually cost ya well over a hunnert dollars. But let's see if we can't get you a Christmas Miracle and just get you on for a twenny-five dollar change fee."

He tapped on his keyboard, then looked up in surprise. "Whaddya know? It accepted it for twenny-five!" He leaned in toward me. "Let's not tell anyone about this, ok? I don't want no trouble." Then he called out "Merry Christmas!" and sent me on my way.

It would appear my Christmas miracle has nothing to do with babies in barns or stars over Bethlehem. For me, it's all about an airline worker who talks like an Atlantic City bookie, and whose miracles surprise even himself.

My arrival at my folks' abode was greeted with enthused delight by my older niece and nephew (10 and 8). They hugged me, cheerfully helped to carry my bags in, were thrilled to know I'd be sharing a room with them (back in my childhood bedroom, in my childhood bed, of course). Then my mother saw me. She has laryngitis. "Hi! Give me a hug!" she croaked. "And take off that terrible hat. You're scaring the baby (my brother's other son, who is one).

"He's not scared of a hat, Mom."

"Well take it off anyway. You're scaring me."

Off with my cool urban camo fave.

Back to bland. Ho Ho Ho, indeed. Welcome home.

Claudia Hunter is the Beachwood's pseudononymous holiday affairs correspondent. She went home to Central Pennsylvania for the holidays this year under duress. The series so far:

* Home for the Holidays: The Preamble


Posted on December 21, 2006

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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