Hillary, Hillary

On the 3rd day of Christmas, the Beachwood gave to me
A woman running for the Presidency

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Hillary, Hillary, you're Bill Clinton's spouse
He'll be the First Husband
In your feminist White House

Hillary, Hillary, you went to Wellesley
Then on to Yale Law School
Where you earned your law degree

Dashing through New York
Health care's the card you play
More taxes from the rich
Equality for gays

The pantsuits that you wear
Show that you've got class
I'll bet if you arm wrestled
You'd kick Giuliani's ass

Hillary, Hillary, your singing is off-key
You wrote It Takes a Village
Then Dear Socks and Dear Buddy

Hillary, Hillary, you're Bill Clinton's wife
You'll be President in the daytime
His Commander-in-Chief at night

A day or two ago, Las Vegas - the debates
They called you duplicitous
But you didn't take the bait

Won't let illegals drive
Won't play the gender card
You say caucusing's easy
Bill says exercising's hard

Hillary, Hillary - you are Chelsea's mom
I don't know if I trust you
With your finger on the bomb

Hillary, Hillary, some call you a MILF
If you win this election
You'll be the USA's first PILF

If you win this election
You'll be the USA's first PILF

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The 12 Days of Beachwood Christmas, brought to you by our very own Tom Latourette:

- Day 1: Have a Dysfunctional Family Christmas
- Day 2: Little George Bush