Chicago - Mar. 19, 2022
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
Beachwood PP&T
Our monthly PP&T archive.
Rhymes for the Times.
Beachwood Bookmarks
So You've Decided To Be Evil
Vintage Beer Signs
Easy Bar Tricks
Best of Craigslist
Wacky Packages
Taquitos Snack Food Reviews
How Products Are Made
Everyday Mysteries
Chicago Zombie
Texts From Last Night
Fuck My Life
Awkward Family Photos
Ultra Local Geography
Best Pinball Machine Ever
Land of Sky Beer Waters
Calumet 412
Chicago Patterns
Vince Michael's Time Tells
Renegades of Funk Chicago
History vs. Hollywood

Hillary, Hillary

On the 3rd day of Christmas, the Beachwood gave to me
A woman running for the Presidency


Hillary, Hillary

Hillary, Hillary, you're Bill Clinton's spouse
He'll be the First Husband
In your feminist White House

Hillary, Hillary, you went to Wellesley
Then on to Yale Law School
Where you earned your law degree

Dashing through New York
Health care's the card you play
More taxes from the rich
Equality for gays

The pantsuits that you wear
Show that you've got class
I'll bet if you arm wrestled
You'd kick Giuliani's ass

Hillary, Hillary, your singing is off-key
You wrote It Takes a Village
Then Dear Socks and Dear Buddy

Hillary, Hillary, you're Bill Clinton's wife
You'll be President in the daytime
His Commander-in-Chief at night

A day or two ago, Las Vegas - the debates
They called you duplicitous
But you didn't take the bait

Won't let illegals drive
Won't play the gender card
You say caucusing's easy
Bill says exercising's hard

Hillary, Hillary - you are Chelsea's mom
I don't know if I trust you
With your finger on the bomb

Hillary, Hillary, some call you a MILF
If you win this election
You'll be the USA's first PILF

If you win this election
You'll be the USA's first PILF


The 12 Days of Beachwood Christmas, brought to you by our very own Tom Latourette:

- Day 1: Have a Dysfunctional Family Christmas
- Day 2: Little George Bush


Posted on December 16, 2007

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter

Beachwood Radio!