Exclusive! WBEZ's New Lineup

Earlier this month WBEZ announced changes to its lineup described as the start of a five-year plan to bring more local programming to the station.

The Beachwood has obtained a confidential part of that plan outlining far more dramatic changes ahead than so far acknowledged. Let's take a look.

6 a.m.: School Daze: Supt. Jean-Claude Brizard - or a paid stand-in - reads the day's lunch menus, closings and turnarounds.

6:30 a.m.: Weather and Traffic on the Whines: Chicagoans whine about weather and traffic.

7 a.m.: Yuppie Worldviews: A daily rundown of First World Problems.

8 a.m.: Eight Forties At Eight: Gangstas do the news.

9 a.m.: Wait, Wait, Please Tell Me!: A daily review of the latest Freedom of Information Act requests denied by City Hall.

10 a.m.: Talk of the Gaytion: Live from Boystown Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays; from Andersonville on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

11 a.m.: Where's Flatfoot? Find the beat cops as Rahm and Gerry shuffle the deck again. Tweet 'em if you see 'em.

Noon: More About Chicago Pizzas & Hot Dogs: Hosted by Mike North because we can't help ourselves. With Terry Savage crunching the numbers.

1 p.m.: Buckshot! The Michael Sneed Outdoors Show.

2 p.m.: Stale Air: Daily reports from our Pilsen and Little Village bureaus.

3 p.m.: Click and Clack: Officials from the Chicago Taxi Drivers Union take your questions.

4 p.m.: The Wacky Groupon Variety Hour: Andrew Mason reads the day's best Groupons on the air and you laugh uproariously at how hilarious they are.

5 p.m.: A Few Things Endlessly Reconsidered: Repeating the same media narratives for the millionth time.

6 p.m.: Ain't It A Shame: Meditations about how somebody should really help the poor.

7 p.m.: Today in Aldermanic Expense Reports. In conjunction with the Chicago News Cooperative.

7:30 p.m.: Hail Rahm! An hour of aldermen praising Rahm Emanuel for acknowledging their existence.

8 p.m.: TIF, TIF, TSK, TSK: Hosted by Ben Joravsky.

8:30 p.m.: We Hear They're Great: Reviewing five-star Chicago restaurants you'll never get to go to.

9 p.m.: The Best of Pledge Drive. Our most effective please aggregated for your convenience.

9:30 p.m.: Ask Tom Why. Philosophical explorations with Tom Skilling.

10 pm.: North Shore Nannies. Inside Chicagoland's most ostentatious nurseries.

10:30 p.m.: From Wilmette to Winnetka: An audio review of the day on WTTW.

11 p.m.: This American Muslim Life: Hosted by Ibrahim Gulab.

Midnight to 6 a.m.: Vocalo. Nobody's listening anyway.

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