Chicago - Dec. 14, 2017
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
 
Beachwood PP&T
Our monthly PP&T archive.
Chicagoetry
Rhymes for the Times.
Beachwood Bookmarks
So You've Decided To Be Evil
Vintage Beer Signs
Easy Bar Tricks
Best of Craigslist
Wacky Packages
Chicagology
Taquitos Snack Food Reviews
How Products Are Made
Everyday Mysteries
Chicago Zombie
FAIL
Texts From Last Night
Fuck My Life
Awkward Family Photos
QuackWatch
Alcademics
Lamebook
Ultra Local Geography
Uncyclopedia
Best Pinball Machine Ever
Land of Sky Beer Waters
Calumet 412
Chicago Patterns
Vince Michael's Time Tells

Exclusive! The Real Reasons Walgreens Didn't Invert

Walgreens announced Wednesday that it would keep its headquarters in Deerfield, rather than renouncing its American corporate citizenship in a tax inversion that would have placed its legal domicile overseas.

While company officials say they feared consumer backlash - and an IRS review - to an inversion, the Beachwood Tax Loophole Affairs Desk has learned the real reasons behind the decisions from sources at our local pharmacy

* All the plants would die.

* "Great Britain's Pharmacy" did poorly in focus groups.

* Executive compensation not worth as much in the metric system.

* Cayman Islands booked.

* Fourth of July seasonal aisle would become too ironic.

* Overseas, corporations aren't people.

* Wanna be here when Theo's Plan comes to fruition.

* State of Illinois incentive package sweetened with a corruptible public official to be named later.

* Something about Medicare Advantage B and Prescription Plan D.

* Executives become teary-eyed while performing inventory of American flag forever stamps.

* Didn't want to lose the Beachwood account.

-

Comments welcome.



Permalink

Posted on August 7, 2014


MUSIC - The Weekend In Chicago Rock.
TV - Cricket vs. Brexit.
POLITICS - Charter Schools Complicit With Segregation.
SPORTS - USA Gymnastics Bans Illinois Coach.

BOOKS - The Randomness Of Harvard Admissions.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Public Lands Matter.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Email:

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter



Beachwood Radio!


Ask Me Anything!



Wool and Hoop