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Diary Of A Lost Pregnancy, Part 4: Mommy, What Does Bupkes Mean?

On September 17, 2014, I went for a routine 8-week prenatal check-up. It was the only routine thing I would do for more than two months.

During this time, I e-mailed a small group of people. Some were aware of the pregnancy, some had plans with me that would need to be broken, and still others simply asked after my health on the wrong day. This is the fourth of 11 such messages. They have been edited to remove identifying information and inside references, but otherwise remain largely unchanged.

October 10, 2014
Dear Friends,

When preparing for surgery, the best thing you can do is explain it to a four-year-old.

This is the conversation we had at dinner on Wednesday:

Me: So, sweetheart, on Friday I'm going to go to the hospital and a doctor is going to help get the embryo out of my tummy.

Daughter: Aw. I thought you were going to say a baby.

Me: No, not this time. Remember, this embryo got sick and it's not going to turn into a baby. And while it's stuck in my tummy there's no room for babies.

Dad: That's right.

Daughter: But if we're not bringing home a baby this time, what are we bringing home?

Me: Unfortunately, bupkes.

Daughter: What does bupkes mean?

Me: It means nothing. We don't get to bring home anything this time.

Daughter: Aw.

Me: But, you and Daddy get to come and pick me up and the hospital, and I'm going to be really loopy.

Daughter: [eyes light up]

Dad: Yeah, Mommy's going to be very silly. You can poke her on the arm and she won't even notice.

Daughter: Poke poke poke!

Me: Well, I also might be a bit sore and tired. And I might not be able to pick you up and carry you for a couple of days.

Daughter: Really?

Dad: Yeah, I think we're going to have to take it easy, have a nice weekend at home. Mommy's going to need some rest.


Daughter: I'm going to poke you! Poke poke poke!

Me: And I'm going to go, "whuuuuuh' [makes corresponding silly face]

Daughter: [laughs hystercially]

[end scene]


* Diary Of A Lost Pregnancy, Part 1: No Fetal Heartbeat.

* Diary Of A Lost Pregnancy, Part 2: Firing Squad Or Hemlock?

* Diary Of A Lost Pregnancy, Part 3: Remember The Challenger.


Monday: Surgery and Italian sports cars.


Comments welcome.


Posted on January 22, 2015

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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