Chicago - Jul. 12, 2022
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
 
Beachwood PP&T
Our monthly PP&T archive.
Chicagoetry
Rhymes for the Times.
Beachwood Bookmarks
So You've Decided To Be Evil
Vintage Beer Signs
Easy Bar Tricks
Best of Craigslist
Wacky Packages
Chicagology
Taquitos Snack Food Reviews
How Products Are Made
Everyday Mysteries
Chicago Zombie
FAIL
Texts From Last Night
Fuck My Life
Awkward Family Photos
QuackWatch
Alcademics
Lamebook
Ultra Local Geography
Uncyclopedia
Best Pinball Machine Ever
Land of Sky Beer Waters
Calumet 412
Chicago Patterns
Vince Michael's Time Tells
Renegades of Funk Chicago
History vs. Hollywood

Dating Math

Whittling the pool of acceptable heterosexual dating options for a single man in Chicago.

Chicago and its suburbs: 9 million people

Subtract the suburbs: 3 million remaining

Subtract for gender: 1.5 million remaining

Subtract for age: 500,000 remaining

Subtract for married and monogamous: 250,000 remaining

Subtract for unmarried but in a monogamous relationship: 125,000 remaining

Subtract those you will never be attracted to: 62,500 remaining

Subtract those who will never be attracted to you: 31,250 remaining

Subtract for sexual preference: 28,125 remaining

Subtract those in prison who would otherwise meet the remaining qualifications: 25,000 remaining

Subtract those with unacceptable record collections: 5,000 remaining

Subtract the certifiably insane, with regret: 4,000 remaining

Subtract those you will never meet: 2,000 remaining

Subtract those with unacceptable religious beliefs: 500 remaining

Subtract neat freaks: 250 remaining

Subtract those who eat their peas one at a time: 225 remaining

Subtract those whose parents will never accept you: 100 remaining

Subtract those you've already dated/slept with: 75 remaining

Subtract those whose lifestyle you can't afford: 50 remaining

Subtract bad tippers and atrocious drivers: 25 remaining

Subtract those who can't be true: 12 remaining

Subtract those with unacceptable political beliefs: 6 remaining

Subtract those you work for or who work for you: 3 remaining

Subtract those who don't speak English: 1 remaining

. . . And she just moved to New York City.



Permalink

Posted on November 1, 2006


MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Don't Let Your Pet OD.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Email:

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter



Beachwood Radio!