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Dating Math

Whittling the pool of acceptable heterosexual dating options for a single man in Chicago.

Chicago and its suburbs: 9 million people

Subtract the suburbs: 3 million remaining

Subtract for gender: 1.5 million remaining

Subtract for age: 500,000 remaining

Subtract for married and monogamous: 250,000 remaining

Subtract for unmarried but in a monogamous relationship: 125,000 remaining

Subtract those you will never be attracted to: 62,500 remaining

Subtract those who will never be attracted to you: 31,250 remaining

Subtract for sexual preference: 28,125 remaining

Subtract those in prison who would otherwise meet the remaining qualifications: 25,000 remaining

Subtract those with unacceptable record collections: 5,000 remaining

Subtract the certifiably insane, with regret: 4,000 remaining

Subtract those you will never meet: 2,000 remaining

Subtract those with unacceptable religious beliefs: 500 remaining

Subtract neat freaks: 250 remaining

Subtract those who eat their peas one at a time: 225 remaining

Subtract those whose parents will never accept you: 100 remaining

Subtract those you've already dated/slept with: 75 remaining

Subtract those whose lifestyle you can't afford: 50 remaining

Subtract bad tippers and atrocious drivers: 25 remaining

Subtract those who can't be true: 12 remaining

Subtract those with unacceptable political beliefs: 6 remaining

Subtract those you work for or who work for you: 3 remaining

Subtract those who don't speak English: 1 remaining

. . . And she just moved to New York City.


Posted on November 1, 2006

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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