Chicago - Jul. 12, 2022
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
 
Beachwood PP&T
Our monthly PP&T archive.
Chicagoetry
Rhymes for the Times.
Beachwood Bookmarks
So You've Decided To Be Evil
Vintage Beer Signs
Easy Bar Tricks
Best of Craigslist
Wacky Packages
Chicagology
Taquitos Snack Food Reviews
How Products Are Made
Everyday Mysteries
Chicago Zombie
FAIL
Texts From Last Night
Fuck My Life
Awkward Family Photos
QuackWatch
Alcademics
Lamebook
Ultra Local Geography
Uncyclopedia
Best Pinball Machine Ever
Land of Sky Beer Waters
Calumet 412
Chicago Patterns
Vince Michael's Time Tells
Renegades of Funk Chicago
History vs. Hollywood

Dating Dot Com

The dating network of Nerve.com offers automated, pre-written "Quick Replies" you can send to people who have contacted you but who you aren't interested in. When the Beachwood dating network gets up and running, we will offer "Quick Replies" too.

*

Nerve: Sorry, I am too busy to respond to you right now.
Beachwood: Sorry, I am too strung out to respond to you right now.

*

Nerve: Um, I don't think our personalities match.
Beachwood: Um, I'm just curious. What in the world could you possibly be thinking?

*
Nerve: I respond only to profiles with photos.
Beachwood: I'm not sending a photo either. Let's just pretend.

*

Nerve: Sorry - I think we're looking for different things.
Beachwood: As if!

*

Nerve: To be honest, I'm looking for someone younger.
Beachwood: Christ, could you be anything more like my wife?

*

Nerve: To be honest, I'm looking for someone older.
Beachwood: Are you from Dateline?

*

Nerve: You seem cool, but you're really not my type.
Beachwood: I like TV too much to date you.

*

Nerve: Oops, bad timing - I just started a new relationship.
Beachwood: I'll be out of the country for a couple months, but I'd love to get together when I get back.

*

Nerve: I'm not ready to get serious right now. Good luck.
Beachwood: Lighten up. I'm just here for the sex.

*

Nerve: Sorry, but I'm looking for a serious relationship.
Beachwood: What's the catch?


*

Nerve: You seem cool, but I'd prefer a local relationship.
Beachwood: You're okay, but not hot enough to travel for.

*

Nerve: Hey there - I'm not seeing new people right now.
Beachwood: I'll be out of the country for a couple months, but I'd love to get together when I get back.

*

Nerve: Thank you but I am not interested.
Beachwood: Wow, you sound great. I think I'll sabotage this one right now.




Permalink

Posted on September 18, 2007


MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Don't Let Your Pet OD.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Email:

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter



Beachwood Radio!